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Array
(
[sid] => 136349
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Slashed Survival
[time] => 2007-07-30 17:12:34
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Cause ur life is a piece of pathetic ***** layin in a trailor park trash bin? . . When i was 14 voices swarmed my thoughts and dreams constantly Voices of evil, Repeatedly showed witness to me , Haunting me vigerously Telling me my parents thought of me as not a son but a piece of scum Saying they are going around tellin people im worthless like a bread crumb After being told it so many times u start to believe it, even tho its untrue Depressed and with no sanity left, I sought an escape n' took 1 of the few . . Took a sarated blade to my left wrist and cut the flesh qucikly left to right Screamed in pain as the blood seeped out down my arm, Day turned to night The light started diming, My vision started fading, Finally defining my destiny Agony and pain relinquished thru the sweet melody of the blood driplets Hand shakey, Mind clear n' bleedin i take a razor to the right wrist slittin it Flickin my wrist lettin blood spray on the walls paintin an abstract of pain A picture of the troubles of my life, A picture proven i went from sane.. To a suicidal maniac just wanting life to end... . . Blood slidin down the wall ass i start to feel light headed and noxious Blessed to soon be dead, Deceased n' stained with sin, Checkmated like chess My sight turns from colourful to black then my mind shuts down.. Legs become weak as my body thrusts and hammers the solid ground . . Sirens blarin and echoing thru my head, Am i in heaven or hell? I ask myself these questions over n over until i hear a the sound of a bell The ding from a automatic door like the ones in humber hospital Voices ring out "We have a dumbass here" soundin so judgemental I fight to open my eyes and thru the blurriness make out faces of doctors Transfering me from the main lobby to a surgeons room where my parents were My dad looked at me from under his medical outfit with a disappointed stare I just looked back with a devastated glare, pleaded for him to let me die there . . My vision started to fade again as my eylids were getting heavy.. the morphine was being injected to keep the pain away from me . . I woke up to my family looking over my bed, Wrists covered up tightly They were all smiling telling me how they missed a smile which shone so brightly then the voices erupted screaming "No fight it were ur true friends" But i ignored it cause my family i should defend. When love was introduced to me the satanic voices went out of trend . . I survived my sadistic days of dreaming of my awaited n morbid suicide The laws of life i now understand and those laws i well abide The ones created by our "creator" who does no wrong n loves all Why did i think they hated me?...From now on my soul will stay in heaven...... To the flames of eternal damnation it shall not fall-----... [comments] => 0 [counter] => 283 [topic] => 72 [informant] => Static_Lullaby [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => self-harmpoetry )
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