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Getting Rid Of The Nightmare.
Contributed by
justme03
on
Sunday, 5th August 2007 @ 03:54:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
Event
|
Nauseated; floating inside myself. Tunnel vision echoing the voices. Glass thoughts falling, about to break and become dangerous shards. Dancing in the dust of prescribed drugs. Trapped in the teasing always changing doses of tranquilizers. Sleep. Let me sleep it off. Weak. I feel so weak and heavy. My head floats above my body spinning around and around. My tongue is tied in knots. I cannot speak to you. Go away, let me ignore you. I dont want silent words to join my unspoken thoughts. It is only clutter stuck behind my lips. I remember the light, like being in an interrogation room. I am lying down on a white bed. White room, white coats, sterile. Looming faces. Mouths moving. Questioning looks. My lips move in answer. But I hear nothing. Tubes. Lots of tubes. I am a puppet on a stage. The people in the white coats take turns being my marionette my conductor, my master. I pretend not to be here. I drift off into memories. I see days of my old life speed by on a fuzzy screen in front of my eyes. That was a long time ago, before everyday was exactly the same; filled with misery and pain. Cold hands on my limp arms jerk me back to reality. A new tube forced into my throat. I gasp and choke. Silent screams. I cannot breathe. Dark black charcoal. Blood, vomit drenched. No more white sterile sheets. Its all coming back to me now. The feeling, The pain, eating at my face, gnawing on my insides, feasting on my intestines, ripping and tearing at my heart. Hot rain pours from my eyes stinging like acid. I JUST WANT TO DIE. I JUST WANT TO DIE. When this is over Ill just do it again. Swallow a whole bottle of Asprin. Down it one by one. All this pain Im feeling right now in this hospital room is nothing compared to the pain I feel everyday. Nauseated; floating inside myself. I wish to stay in a suspended state. High in my own mind. My head spinning. My eyes unblinking. The pain gone. My body numb. Let me drift away. I WANT TO BE DEAD. dead.
Copyright ©
justme03
... [
2007-08-05 03:54:45] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Getting Rid Of The Nightmare.
(User Rating: 1 ) by Angelic_Demon on
Sunday, 5th August 2007 @ 04:30:12 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I love it... but death isn't something that should be sought. |
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Re: Getting Rid Of The Nightmare.
(User Rating: 1 ) by colinbaker62 on
Sunday, 5th August 2007 @ 08:13:52 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I, for one, very much hope that you remain alive, alive, alive not least because you create some beautifully moving poetry. Having read this piece, if I were to offer some advice to you, it would have to be the following: LIVE AND WRITE!
Colin |
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Re: Getting Rid Of The Nightmare.
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Sunday, 5th August 2007 @ 04:32:04 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I too am glad you lived cause this is very powerfull writing!
I agree, live to write cause you have magic in your pen.
huggs,
emy |
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