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Array ( [sid] => 137053 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Summer Snowflake [time] => 2007-08-30 11:05:25 [hometext] => A poem about recognizing a person for who they are as a unique individual. Written about a girl I befriended. Feedback is much appreciated. [bodytext] => The flurry in the rain,
So pure and self sustained.

The authenticism of your being in the haying season's heat,
So rare and unaccounted for,
A truly splendid treat.

Alienated,
Yes you are.
You're not like them at all.
Your presence so undesired now,
Even as you fall.

They dismantle you with taunting.
They seize upon your goal.
Ravenous beads of water,
They eat away your soul.

Boisterous drops beat relentlessly against the sultry ground.
Beauty to the ears,
This collaborated sound.

A beauty though it seemed,
It was deceiving all the same.
Incessantly drumming raindrops,
They will bring this world to shame.

Prematurely drifting from your wintry season retreat.
Sailing in all your valor to a world of cruel sadists,
Seemingly immune to the antagonistic heat.

They watch you with dormant eyes.
My own viligant and anticipating.
Ignoring vicious cries,
I won't you let be cast away.

My snowflake in the summer.
My star against the sun.
An acid in a base.
The true,
The only one. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 283 [topic] => 19 [informant] => Moonshine [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => InspirationalPoems )
Summer Snowflake

Contributed by Moonshine on Thursday, 30th August 2007 @ 11:05:25 AM in AEST
Topic: InspirationalPoems



The flurry in the rain,
So pure and self sustained.

The authenticism of your being in the haying season's heat,
So rare and unaccounted for,
A truly splendid treat.

Alienated,
Yes you are.
You're not like them at all.
Your presence so undesired now,
Even as you fall.

They dismantle you with taunting.
They seize upon your goal.
Ravenous beads of water,
They eat away your soul.

Boisterous drops beat relentlessly against the sultry ground.
Beauty to the ears,
This collaborated sound.

A beauty though it seemed,
It was deceiving all the same.
Incessantly drumming raindrops,
They will bring this world to shame.

Prematurely drifting from your wintry season retreat.
Sailing in all your valor to a world of cruel sadists,
Seemingly immune to the antagonistic heat.

They watch you with dormant eyes.
My own viligant and anticipating.
Ignoring vicious cries,
I won't you let be cast away.

My snowflake in the summer.
My star against the sun.
An acid in a base.
The true,
The only one.




Copyright © Moonshine ... [ 2007-08-30 11:05:25]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Summer Snowflake (User Rating: 1 )
by catz77 on Thursday, 30th August 2007 @ 11:17:18 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
wow this was really good
flowed nicely

catz


Re: Summer Snowflake (User Rating: 1 )
by Dom on Saturday, 1st September 2007 @ 08:05:52 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I really liked this, the descriptions are beautiful. Clever use of weather and nature related metaphors to create progression in the poem.
I love the message in this poem, an appreciation of uniqueness.

Great work,
Dom




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