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Array
(
[sid] => 137687
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Hey girl
[time] => 2007-10-05 18:02:12
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => You get in alright? Sorry no one ever listens to me. Wierdly I'm the first one they ***** at(or to.) I'm so unsaticefied with family, friends, god, life..... I could widen it the subject but I'm to board with it. It stabs and pierces my flesh, but I hold it dear, for it's all I have. I thank god, and pray for my family, friends and all that draws my blood. It's the only thing I've ever known. It *****es me off, how easily I'm the the down side, 'cuz it's so easily, they can be mad at me, just because tomorrow I accept it, and leave all that has died in me to cling to all that I pray for. It's unbelievable to me, that I try so hard to keep this ungiving love so close. I really can't comprehend why I want all that gives me grief. I feel like a whale beached, bloated, but not from the process of decay, but that of life that eats and swells from the inflamation of irattation. If I could get one to listen to me, maybe I wouldn't write, or better yet, maybe I could write something else than what drives me so insecure. If I had an hour to give, a million blunts to roll, some ecstacy to pass out, you better believe it would be for everyone. I really don't know what it takes to feel the way I do, but I know it really doesn't matter, only what it takes to take the ***** that they drive. I wish I could take them away, help them feel something other than thier lives, the things they're all wrap into. help them understand this is nothing but a vessel, just a place to know, all that is to believe is inside, behind the cover, behind the eyes, beyound what is seen. It's way deep, beyound faith and lie. I pray but he doesn't listen. I Pray to help them all and me, but I'm still the lost and they say they're right. No heed for my word or mind. I'm the wrong and they know better. No need for god, although they say to pray. No need to feel although I feel, they can't see.No need for help although we all need a home. No need to hear me, I'm the dirt, no wisdom, no unself center thought that I bleed. "RELIANCE IS A SKILL THAT BELONGS TO GOD!!!"(-Don's line) Well, as I just got done saying it doesn't matter, just be good, onto yourself and hopefully others. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 184 [topic] => 48 [informant] => rhei76 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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