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Array ( [sid] => 139361 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Forget the Presents Pass Me the Bottle [time] => 2007-12-24 02:10:30 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Merry Christmas!
And I’m alone.
Softly crying
In my cold bed

Merry Christmas!
I scream silently
As waves of pain
Envelope my heart

The only gift I want
The only one I can’t have
Money could never buy it
And I’m broken without it

Someone else has you
I bet he is truly happy
I darkly envy him
But try to hide it.

I can’t think about
Tomorrow without you
When I’m already
At my lowest today.

Merry Christmas!
I shout aloud
Forget the presents
Pass me the bottle
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 271 [topic] => 18 [informant] => yackerz85 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 7 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Holiday Poetry )

Forget the Presents Pass Me the Bottle

Contributed by yackerz85 on Monday, 24th December 2007 @ 02:10:30 AM in AEST
Topic: Holiday Poetry

Merry Christmas!
And I’m alone.
Softly crying
In my cold bed

Merry Christmas!
I scream silently
As waves of pain
Envelope my heart

The only gift I want
The only one I can’t have
Money could never buy it
And I’m broken without it

Someone else has you
I bet he is truly happy
I darkly envy him
But try to hide it.

I can’t think about
Tomorrow without you
When I’m already
At my lowest today.

Merry Christmas!
I shout aloud
Forget the presents
Pass me the bottle

Copyright Â© yackerz85 ... [ 2007-12-24 02:10:30]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Forget the Presents Pass Me the Bottle (User Rating: 1 )
by Honey56 on Monday, 24th December 2007 @ 07:33:59 AM AEST
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Great write,the hurt will fade in time...
Forget the bottle! give yourself a reality check..You're be ok..

Re: Forget the Presents Pass Me the Bottle (User Rating: 1 )
by JohnYamrus on Monday, 24th December 2007 @ 07:47:30 AM AEST
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this is pretty darn good. if i can suggest a few changes to make it even tighter...
a "dose of reality" poem like this needs to remain grounded....in the first stanza you start out weakly by using the overused descriptives "softly" crying and "cold" bed. they're un-necessary and only weaken the poem. i also think it redundant to say you shout "aloud".
excellent. this isn't moon/june poetry. this is real.
good stuff.
take care.
john

Re: Forget the Presents Pass Me the Bottle (User Rating: 1 )
by conorshawn on Monday, 24th December 2007 @ 08:14:04 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i have been there in that same bed i still to this day think the same way.
i surround myself with friends this time of year.

Re: Forget the Presents Pass Me the Bottle (User Rating: 1 )
by ki on Tuesday, 25th December 2007 @ 12:56:19 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i love this!!absolutely love it!dont feel bad ,im always alone this holidays!!

ki

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