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Array ( [sid] => 139507 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Untitled [time] => 2008-01-01 01:21:18 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Once the picture of perfection
Now ur hidden in disguise
And so easy to decipher
Cuz it's all behind ur eyes
I see u because ur trapped
In all ur hurt,and useless lies
U always fight against the world
Until all of u,just dies
Inside u theres' an emptiness
That may never be whole
But inside me theres' a will
To let u not give up ur soul
And if i could tell u anything
I'd tell u,truth be told
To me ur always perfect
And my heart,u'll always hold [comments] => 2 [counter] => 187 [topic] => 48 [informant] => ki [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )

Untitled

Contributed by ki on Tuesday, 1st January 2008 @ 01:21:18 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

Once the picture of perfection
Now ur hidden in disguise
And so easy to decipher
Cuz it's all behind ur eyes
I see u because ur trapped
In all ur hurt,and useless lies
U always fight against the world
Until all of u,just dies
Inside u theres' an emptiness
That may never be whole
But inside me theres' a will
To let u not give up ur soul
And if i could tell u anything
I'd tell u,truth be told
To me ur always perfect
And my heart,u'll always hold

Copyright © ki ... [ 2008-01-01 01:21:18]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by Honey56 on Tuesday, 1st January 2008 @ 04:28:42 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

What a sweet write..

Happy New Year!!!

Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by JohnYamrus on Tuesday, 1st January 2008 @ 04:40:01 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

finally! a poem on this site that didn't make me want to poke my eyes out with a stick or bash my head against a wall! nicely done! the only thing i'd bring to your attention is you've goofed up the contraction...it should be "there's" as in "there is".
you might also want to re-think that kid-speak...u...ur...two years from now you'll look at this stuff, with those textspeak words and they'll look like a bad haircut to you. however, the poem is intelligently formed, strongly concieved and well executed. nice job!
john yamrus

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