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Array ( [sid] => 139548 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Alone [time] => 2008-01-02 23:40:33 [hometext] => Lonely minds wander [bodytext] => Alone always in darkness,
this feeling of despair,
everything is so lifeless,
too much pain to share.

Alone I stand in this open space,
the cold air on my flesh,
there is no happy ending in this case,
death would be the best.

Alone I suffer, alone I stand
the blade still in my shivering hand,
alone I weep, alone I bleed
Alone I die, no help to plead.

Alone no more now that I am freed. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 306 [topic] => 32 [informant] => MissTeenSuicide [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )

Alone

Contributed by MissTeenSuicide on Wednesday, 2nd January 2008 @ 11:40:33 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

Alone always in darkness,
this feeling of despair,
everything is so lifeless,
too much pain to share.

Alone I stand in this open space,
the cold air on my flesh,
there is no happy ending in this case,
death would be the best.

Alone I suffer, alone I stand
the blade still in my shivering hand,
alone I weep, alone I bleed
Alone I die, no help to plead.

Alone no more now that I am freed.

Copyright © MissTeenSuicide ... [ 2008-01-02 23:40:33]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Alone (User Rating: 1 )
by ki on Thursday, 3rd January 2008 @ 01:27:56 AM AEST
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this is good..i like the last line

Re: Alone (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 3rd January 2008 @ 08:54:32 AM AEST
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i like your style but i felt at times the rhymes were a little stilted and forced like "alone i die no help to plead." poetry doesnt always have to rhyme and i think in your case your writing might be stronger without it

Re: Alone (User Rating: 1 )
by little_genna on Thursday, 3rd January 2008 @ 10:48:56 AM AEST
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I feel inclined to agree with Jantra, poems do not have to always rhyme to be considered a poem. Also agree that it could make your writing stronger. Sometimes if i feel like i have to force the rhyme i abandom it for that poem.........

onto the actual poem.. i really enjoyed how raw your emotion is and i also felt a lot of anger... i loved how you can spill your words onto the page......great job

Re: Alone (User Rating: 1 )
by mrpeanut64 on Thursday, 3rd January 2008 @ 02:48:24 PM AEST
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Been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt. Actually as troubles mount death sometimes seems such an easy way out, but keep looking there is always another way (sometimes hard) that's not so final.

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