Your Poetry Dot Com

Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!

Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+

Custom Search


Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	02-June 12:19:44 AEST

Menu

· Our eBay Store

· Error Submit

Poetry

· Submit Poetry

· Least Read Poems

· Members Listing

· Old Site Post 2001

· Old Site Pre 2001

· Poetry Archive

· Public Domain Poetry

Stories

· Stories (NEW ! )

· Submit Story

· Story Topics

· Stories Archive

· Story Search

Community

· Our Poetry Forums

· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

Site Help

· FAQ

· Feedback

Members Areas

· Your Account

· Members Journals

· Premium Sign-Up

Premium Section

· Special Section

· Premium Poems

· Premium Submit

· Premium Search

· Premium Archive

· Premium Topics

Fun & Games

· Jokes

· Bubble Puzzle

· Cross Word Easy

· Word Hunt

Reference

· Dictionary (Rhyming)

· Site Updates

· Special Content

Search

Top

Help This Site

· Donations

Others

· Moderators

Our Other Sites

· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

Social

Array ( [sid] => 143704 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Too Soon... [time] => 2008-07-05 11:09:44 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Skeleton face with the crippled hands
Deathly place, with eternal plans
Black striped suit for my funeral
Requiem sung during my mural

Why must I be so sincerely contrite?
Stuck in this life, while everyone is so right?
Stoic outward shell, viewing in kind.
Morals that once fell, tugging at my mind.

Insanity that left me sane
Madness that never came.
Leaving me waiting, always pacing.
Trying to rid myself of this flawed casing.

Death bed fears, emotions are scarred.
Mind finally clears, vision still marred.
As nothing seems to make any sense.

Death bed tears, as my memory clears.
Screams that no one hears. I don't belong Here!
It dawns on me, this isn't my bed!

Not my home, not my clothes.
Not my tomb, why is this lid closed?
It's not my time to die...
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 208 [topic] => 48 [informant] => Thirten [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )

Too Soon...

Contributed by Thirten on Saturday, 5th July 2008 @ 11:09:44 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

Skeleton face with the crippled hands
Deathly place, with eternal plans
Black striped suit for my funeral
Requiem sung during my mural

Why must I be so sincerely contrite?
Stuck in this life, while everyone is so right?
Stoic outward shell, viewing in kind.
Morals that once fell, tugging at my mind.

Insanity that left me sane
Madness that never came.
Leaving me waiting, always pacing.
Trying to rid myself of this flawed casing.

Death bed fears, emotions are scarred.
Mind finally clears, vision still marred.
As nothing seems to make any sense.

Death bed tears, as my memory clears.
Screams that no one hears. I don't belong Here!
It dawns on me, this isn't my bed!

Not my home, not my clothes.
Not my tomb, why is this lid closed?
It's not my time to die...

Copyright © Thirten ... [ 2008-07-05 11:09:44]
(Date/Time posted on site)

Advertisments:

Previous Posted Poem | | Next Posted Poem

Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more

All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.

Re: Too Soon... (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 5th July 2008 @ 02:00:14 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

As we sit at our desks in our robes we put on our youthful death masks. Then we stare at each other simultaneously, and then we begin typing. But before we type the first word, we stare at each other one more time and then we simultaneously say, "typing?" And then we simultaneously say, "Yes, typing." And then we begin typing. We enjoyed thoroughly the concept. Indeed some die too soon. At least, in the human mind, some die too soon. But we, as Ghost Alarms, believe we all have our separate time of dying. And as timely as Death is, we believe that the soul lives on. And in many ways, what we grieve is the loss of the body. The soul lives on inside of us.

Poetically speaking, nothing is more dark, beautiful, deep, emotional and inspirational as death and loss. Here, you attempt to capture it well, and in many spots there is a brilliance, however your rhyming attempts really, really lost us. Some poets feel there is a need to rhyme in everything they write. They fail to realize that rhyming alone, can often lose the heart of the poem itself. Don't take this the wrong way; please don't take this harshly. We believe your poem has much potential, but loses that potential because you felt the need to force a rhyme. Sometimes a poem lives and dies by it's rhyme and sometimes if a poet would simply read over his work, they would realize that the poem's message is lost because of the rhyming. We do applaud your effort and we applaud your concept and we do think that you were on to something here. And if we felt as readers, that this flowed out of you, we would applaud the piece completely. But we believe that you spent too much time trying to come up with a rhyme and less time on completing your thought, thus making this whole poem seem very forced. Let your pen flow the way your soul flows. Worry less about presentation and you will become the poet that is inside of you.

May you awake in the morning inside a coffin shouting "don't bury me, I'm not dead!"

~The Ghost Alarms

Re: Too Soon... (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 6th July 2008 @ 06:40:21 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i like the lines "Insanity that left me sane Madness that never came." well written

While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com