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Array
(
[sid] => 147365
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Death of an Internet Love Affair
[time] => 2009-01-10 20:39:01
[hometext] => I wrote a poem for Dave once before...this one is more about my confusion that for him. But I hope someday he realizes how much he is/was loved.
[bodytext] => They met in a chat room, there looking for chat, not for love. He polite and complimentary, as she was singing a song. For months they spoke in public, typing, not with spoken words, Then finally to a private talk their chat moved along. She waited each weekend online for his name to appear, Even though he rarely made it, she had little fear, And checked her email daily, hoping from him again to hear. On the occasional phone calls, his voice was music to her ears. She told him of her past, how hard it was for her to trust, He told her of his ex wife, and how horribly unjust, How horrid the way that she’d treated him had been. He too was uncertain that in love he’d ever win. He told her he loved her, her voice did him enchant, And he’d be on that weekend, with her alone time to spend. She waited til that Sunday eve, never hearing a word, An email she sent, speaking of disappointment and hurt. He put the blame back on her, for being so impatient, And walked away from her, without any visible care or pain. She held him in her heart, and tried emailing in the future, He responded he still loved her, that they should try again. She took a deep breath, made him promise not to disappear, He agreed willingly, and the cycle started once again. They phoned that November, before Thanksgiving Day, He promised to call soon, then disappeared as if there he’d never been. She tried hard to forget him, but he lived in her heart. Apparently not so her in his, she very sadly thought. They reunited months later, via email not by voice, And he told her that with his ex he no longer fought. They’d made a deal, for their kids, to try and reconcile, But it was in name only, or so to her he described. She loved, thus she believed him, though she wondered for a while, But she opened her arms to him as her heart would not be denied. They were to meet finally, in the state where he with his ex dwells. But he had no time for a phone call that month, or even one the prior. Her heart was filled with love, but her mind with doubts did swell, She asked him some questions which she hoped her doubts would retire. Instead of answering the questions, he accused her once again, Accusing this time she was expecting more than he could possibly give. Yet she read his old messages, and every one he’d penned Did tell her he loved her, and that this reconciliation would end. Now finally she realized, there were only two real options, He really didn’t love her, or he’d lied about his choices. Which was the answer? Her questions he did shun, Instead promising friendship, this time promising he’d not run. Through tears and sorrow, with her heart breaking once again She held to the hope that someday his heart she’d truly hold. Was it really just his job and his family that again did win - Had he ever really loved her? Were they truths he had her told? Maybe in reality she is the only one at fault, Maybe she pressed too hard, giving him just pause. Or maybe his honesty, which she’d never assaulted Is the issue that he their love again to toss did cause? Despite all his misgivings, she really did not demand All of his time, or that he give up all that he had. She merely wanted to know that he wanted with her to be But instead of simply telling her that, accusations made he. She wished that she’d verbally told him all of her fears, For her written word apparently very unclear must be, sadly. She trusted him wholly, and does still in this New Year, But wishes their communications hadn’t turned out so badly. Her mind is telling her to move on, realizing she can’t win But her heart still dreams of him, and thinks always of “them”. She hopes against hope that someday he will come clean And they will have that magical meeting, some where, some “when”. Should he ever need her, or anything she can give, She’d be there in an instant, for in her heart he’ll always live. But he has others in his life, that always will come first, So she knows she’s the last one he’d ever call were he sad, or hurt. She’ll remember him fondly, always wondering if she were the cause Of such a wonderful internet love affair ending oh so terribly wrong. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 151 [topic] => 22 [informant] => KatsMeow [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
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