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Array ( [sid] => 147387 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Broken [time] => 2009-01-11 23:17:48 [hometext] => i wrote this after being alone doing to much thinking [bodytext] => My name is broken
I was once a girl
This is the story
Of my whole world
I was tumbling down
so so deep
when he came along
and my heart skipped a beat
i had loved before
but not like this
it was love at first sight
for me it was bliss
i cannot say
what happened or why
but on that day
for me he was the guy
we did ***** you cant imagine
we played games
that most havent
from pot to cocain
we did it all
except for crack
at least for me
this is fact
i will never be that free
there was police drugs and gunns
and for us adventure, pleasure, and funn
so we lived that life for a while
until we found it old and immature
we went our seperate ways
and that was for sure
1 year to the day
we met again
in the most unusal way
he was there and so was i
we werent expected
it was a suprize
me and a friend
wanted to get wasted
so he bout us vodka
cause we paid him
when we returned home
to drink our alchol
i though to myself
this is it yall
ill never lay eyes on him again
hell never see my face
we are done and it was funn
but now is grace
just to see his beautiful face
Then just 2 nights later
we ran away
back to police gunns and drugs
but this time not for play
we were labled thugs
on that very day
but we had the thoughts
in our child like minds
and we had taught
ourselves to be blind
it never did work between him and i
but we can say
that we at least tried
so now im broken
for what ive done
dont be broken
because then theyve won
dont be broken
because then your done [comments] => 2 [counter] => 172 [topic] => 48 [informant] => Samsgurl16 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
Broken

Contributed by Samsgurl16 on Sunday, 11th January 2009 @ 11:17:48 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



My name is broken
I was once a girl
This is the story
Of my whole world
I was tumbling down
so so deep
when he came along
and my heart skipped a beat
i had loved before
but not like this
it was love at first sight
for me it was bliss
i cannot say
what happened or why
but on that day
for me he was the guy
we did ***** you cant imagine
we played games
that most havent
from pot to cocain
we did it all
except for crack
at least for me
this is fact
i will never be that free
there was police drugs and gunns
and for us adventure, pleasure, and funn
so we lived that life for a while
until we found it old and immature
we went our seperate ways
and that was for sure
1 year to the day
we met again
in the most unusal way
he was there and so was i
we werent expected
it was a suprize
me and a friend
wanted to get wasted
so he bout us vodka
cause we paid him
when we returned home
to drink our alchol
i though to myself
this is it yall
ill never lay eyes on him again
hell never see my face
we are done and it was funn
but now is grace
just to see his beautiful face
Then just 2 nights later
we ran away
back to police gunns and drugs
but this time not for play
we were labled thugs
on that very day
but we had the thoughts
in our child like minds
and we had taught
ourselves to be blind
it never did work between him and i
but we can say
that we at least tried
so now im broken
for what ive done
dont be broken
because then theyve won
dont be broken
because then your done




Copyright © Samsgurl16 ... [ 2009-01-11 23:17:48]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Broken (User Rating: 1 )
by stress707 on Monday, 12th January 2009 @ 02:01:55 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I hate to say this but do to the spelling errors I think that you lost me. I understand what you were going for, I just couldn't help but be critical of the spelling errors. I think you have something good here, keep it up though.


Re: Broken (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 12th January 2009 @ 06:30:25 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Very nice but some spelling errors made it a bit eh confuzzling in some spaces. buti get the message you were sending keep up the writing.




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