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Array ( [sid] => 14779 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => Pain [time] => 2003-03-23 03:05:00 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Brassy odor
Metallic taste
Warms my flesh
Stains my face.

Pouring raindrops
Clouded grey eyes
Liquid fire
Strength disguised.

Rivers unite
Blood touches tear
Crimson red
Crystal clear.

Mixing the two
Red dye and salt
Gives more force
Adds more fault.

Twin colors bleed
Stinging my face.
Salted wounds.
Pain displaced.

Yvonne Denise Springer
Copyright ©2002 Yvonne Denise Springer [comments] => 10 [counter] => 270 [topic] => 25 [informant] => springchic1979 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => MiscPoems )
Pain

Contributed by springchic1979 on Sunday, 23rd March 2003 @ 03:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic: MiscPoems



Brassy odor
Metallic taste
Warms my flesh
Stains my face.

Pouring raindrops
Clouded grey eyes
Liquid fire
Strength disguised.

Rivers unite
Blood touches tear
Crimson red
Crystal clear.

Mixing the two
Red dye and salt
Gives more force
Adds more fault.

Twin colors bleed
Stinging my face.
Salted wounds.
Pain displaced.

Yvonne Denise Springer
Copyright ©2002 Yvonne Denise Springer




Copyright © springchic1979 ... [ 2003-03-23 03:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by hazelnut on Sunday, 23rd March 2003 @ 04:16:50 AM AEST
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all very abstract to me..but i like the rhymes


Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Sunday, 23rd March 2003 @ 07:10:58 PM AEST
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deep....so much in this, it's a wonderful write i will come back to again, hugs nessa


Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by springchic1979 on Sunday, 23rd March 2003 @ 07:13:59 PM AEST
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I know this poem is even more cryptic then usual. LOL

Quatrain 1 - describes blood that is from a facial wound...the smell of the blood, the taste of it, the warmth of it as it runs down the face...and the trail it leaves behind.

Quatrain 2 - describes tears/crying. Tears pouring down from cloudy eyes. They burn like liquid fire...disguising strength.

Quatrain 3 - describes the blood and tears mixing as they stream down my face.

Quatrain 4 - (if you ever use dye for anything it tells you to add salt to the mixture to strengthen the solution)

so the combination of both blood (red dye) and tears (salt) strengthens the overall effect.

Quatrain 5 - "twin colors" (not in appearance as such...but by the painful feelings they inflict)

"Salted wounds.
Pain displaced."

Means the physical wounds may be excruciating but the pain is displaced...implying the pain hurts more emotionally then physically.

Thanks for reading hazelnut :)

Yvonne


Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by springchic1979 on Sunday, 23rd March 2003 @ 07:41:52 PM AEST
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Awww...Thank you Nessa.
*hugs*

Yvonne


Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by wolfflow on Tuesday, 25th March 2003 @ 03:45:52 PM AEST
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well hey yvonne i'm glad you got around to explaining this one before i got around to reading it, an interesting poem now that i understand it


Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by springchic1979 on Tuesday, 25th March 2003 @ 11:32:20 PM AEST
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Glad it helped Wolfflow. If you ever get stuck on one of my poems...just let me know. :)

Yvonne


Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by lilch4ever on Saturday, 5th April 2003 @ 07:55:24 PM AEST
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I like this very deep. I loved way you described your pain. I can feel your pain.


Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on Tuesday, 15th April 2003 @ 01:49:12 AM AEST
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Got to go away and think
about what I've just discovered
yours is a well delicious to drink
will come back when I've recovered





Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by springchic1979 on Tuesday, 15th April 2003 @ 01:03:22 PM AEST
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Thank you very much for your compliment lilch4ever. :)

Yvonne


Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by springchic1979 on Tuesday, 15th April 2003 @ 01:05:09 PM AEST
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Aww what a sweet little rhyme. Thank you very much Wrybod, I am so glad you liked it! :)

Yvonne




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