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(
[sid] => 148277
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => ~Her Maiden Voyage~
[time] => 2009-03-02 21:44:12
[hometext] => I am not in the habit of doing this, but I am asking for your interpretation of this. It is still work in progress but I would like some feedback please. Thank you.
[bodytext] => ~~^~~
An invitation extended today
tossed her back to a time when life was one big adventure.
It was more than thirty years ago
She was afforded this opportunity and gracefully accepted it.
Tonight she sits reminiscing:
She remembered how excited she was on that special day.
She imagined this would be the night
she would embark on her maiden voyage to the shore of maturity.
but as luck would have it, there was a major barrier.
This ship would not sail along this coast again.
It was destined for a land far away.
In spite of this knowledge,
she boarded the vessel with great anticipation.
The sailing smooth and pleasurable
But she knew she had to disembark.
One step further and it would have been too late.
There would have been no turning back.
As the years passed by
She wondered if she had made the right decision.
In her heart she knew she had.
Yet, the longing and the desire were always there.
And until tonight she never knew that this feeling was reciprocated.
She found out the dream had lingered with him in a strange sort of way.
Now she is faced with the opportunity once more-
To sail into the harbour of fulfillment,
To bring this dream to completion
Would she dare attempt that voyage again?
Could she step off her yacht even for a second?
What turbulence awaits her?
Can she weather the storm?
As appealing as this journey may seem
She is afraid it’s going to be a repeat of her maiden voyage.
~~^~~
[comments] => 8
[counter] => 241
[topic] => 24
[informant] => Jenni_K
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 23
[ratings] => 5
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => LoveRemembered
)
~Her Maiden Voyage~
Contributed by
Jenni_K
on
Monday, 2nd March 2009 @ 09:44:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
~~^~~
An invitation extended today
tossed her back to a time when life was one big adventure.
It was more than thirty years ago
She was afforded this opportunity and gracefully accepted it.
Tonight she sits reminiscing:
She remembered how excited she was on that special day.
She imagined this would be the night
she would embark on her maiden voyage to the shore of maturity.
but as luck would have it, there was a major barrier.
This ship would not sail along this coast again.
It was destined for a land far away.
In spite of this knowledge,
she boarded the vessel with great anticipation.
The sailing smooth and pleasurable
But she knew she had to disembark.
One step further and it would have been too late.
There would have been no turning back.
As the years passed by
She wondered if she had made the right decision.
In her heart she knew she had.
Yet, the longing and the desire were always there.
And until tonight she never knew that this feeling was reciprocated.
She found out the dream had lingered with him in a strange sort of way.
Now she is faced with the opportunity once more-
To sail into the harbour of fulfillment,
To bring this dream to completion
Would she dare attempt that voyage again?
Could she step off her yacht even for a second?
What turbulence awaits her?
Can she weather the storm?
As appealing as this journey may seem
She is afraid it’s going to be a repeat of her maiden voyage.
~~^~~
Copyright ©
Jenni_K
... [
2009-03-02 21:44:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ~Her Maiden Voyage~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 2nd March 2009 @ 10:22:37 PM AEST
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Well first of all, I like the way it's written.
Okay, this is what this humble servant gets out of it.
First, it appears as though this voice from the past has just come back from somewhere, somewhere far off maybe and has again gotten in contact with "her".
I hope I am not being too bold but it appears as though, even though "he" was leaving for this far away place, she chose to still lose her virginity to him. Also, it looks as though it was a wonderful "first time".
Now she finds out he thought it was an awesome experience too. It even sounds like it was more than physical.... I smell love in the air!!!!!
Now she has this choice....he's back; obviously they still love each other but she is afraid he will leave again to this "land far away ".
This hopeless romantic hopes it turns out the way he'd like it to! ! ! I say she should go for it.
Like they say "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
Thank you for a very enjoyable read and asking me to take a look at this.
Tim
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Re: ~Her Maiden Voyage~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Recyclebin on
Monday, 2nd March 2009 @ 10:23:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hmmmm.... When all the right conditions come together there is a huge weather condition known as the 'Perfect Storm" We sail because the beauty is surreal, we forget about what lies beyond the horizon. But when all these fronts come together ... a storm rages and can rip our sails right off. Some make the voyage and others sink into the abyss. We can take the chance to make the shore or turn around back to the safe harbor.. What should we do???
Thats the question we all ask.
Great piece btw...
~Bin~
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Re: ~Her Maiden Voyage~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Monday, 2nd March 2009 @ 11:26:20 PM AEST
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Thank you both for your contributions...
Bin, I have to say I enjoyed your comment more than my poem....:>) and with your permission I would use a line or two in my revised draft of this poem. Thank you.
Tim, you were spot on...almost.... she didn't lose her virginity.---> "But she knew she had to disembark.
One step further and it would have been too late."
I really appreciated this you guys... Thanks much....
Jenni
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Re: ~Her Maiden Voyage~
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 3rd March 2009 @ 05:17:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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"She wondered if she had made the right decision. In her heart she knew she had"..
Dear..Jenni, those are the lines which show her mind..she decides naturally to proceed further..
She can't go back.. God bless..many hugs. :-)venkat
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Re: ~Her Maiden Voyage~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 3rd March 2009 @ 08:12:15 AM AEST
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a Message)
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something a little different from you jenni. this read more like a novel or an epic poem from homer. i think you made it work because you described the metaphor of sailing away so well with a wide range of adjectives. the ending seemed to tie it all up so well in a ribbon of understanding. i liked it.
-phil |
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Re: ~Her Maiden Voyage~
(User Rating: 1 )
by PreciousKitten on
Tuesday, 3rd March 2009 @ 08:41:58 AM AEST
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| i love the passion in the poem.it has a theme of women hood in it that caught me. |
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Re: ~Her Maiden Voyage~
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadwriter on
Tuesday, 3rd March 2009 @ 08:26:21 PM AEST
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In Life we all make choices. It is nice to dream about the past and what might have been or what we think might be again. But does that road not change once we take it? For ever action there is a reaction, that changes each story and each life.
You have written a most thought provoking piece Jenni. One that comes from the heart. You always amaze me with your works.
Deadwriter
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Re: ~Her Maiden Voyage~
(User Rating: 1 )
by kye on
Monday, 9th March 2009 @ 07:46:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I read this poem a few nights ago. I thought it had an old world charm bespeaking of yesteryear and brilliant in thought. Mysterious also, but part of the mystique was completely in the charm of the poem.
You are so experienced at writing poetry that it still awes me when I see you grow, and change up your writing style.
I still remember a poem from long ago that you wrote that made me cry about a picture frame.
I never forget a writer that lets her heart write the most incredible, beautiful warm poems.
When I first read this poem, I didn't comment not because it wasn't awesome, for it was...I hesitated because sometimes when it feels private or privately mysterious, I fear I will see too much or think on it too much and miss the whole context.
This is a brilliant one.
5 stars,
Kie |
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