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Darkened Night
Contributed by
Loende
on
Thursday, 2nd April 2009 @ 05:02:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I raised my hand in moonlight bright
To ask the Queen to hear my plight
And She who reigns with grace so grand
Came down to take this mortal's hand
Mother, please, my heart is aching
I can't keep my friend from fading
I beg of you to help him see
That love should make him whole and free
He's let himself become her whim
The light within him now is dim
And all the gifts that he once gave
She's beaten down with love deprave
Behind that youthful, winsome smile
There lies a heart that beats with guile
A bitter, candy-coated pill
That once is swallowed, it will kill
Mother, please, my heart is breaking
My sister's husband has been taken
His sudden death brings shock and grief
A family lost without relief
Mark left behind a desperate wife
three children and his grand son's life
His daughter now will walk alone
When she marries and leaves his home
I've tried to help, to ease her pain
But tears still pour, a bitter rain
I feel inept in all I do
And so I've come to beg of you
Oh, pull me from this tide of fear
So I can say what they must hear
Fill me with wisdom and with power
that I might help in this dark hour
And She who's reigned since time did start
Did place her hand upon my heart
The ache it grew, then worsened still
Before it lessened through her will
Dear child of mine, do not despair
It's through your naked heart you care
For without trying you have felt
The piercing pain your friends were dealt
One laid to rest, while loved ones grieve
The other lost to selfish greed
Their journeys were not yours to take
You know this truth beneath the ache
But by my word, I cede to you
Strength and valor to see this through
To be their rock while they're adrift
I grant you peace, that is my gift
So with this last she did ascend
Up to the stars to reign again
And Mother Moon, with gracious light
Shone once again in darkened night
Copyright ©
Loende
... [
2009-04-02 17:02:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Darkened Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Thursday, 2nd April 2009 @ 05:18:01 PM AEST
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Dearest, dearest Dawn...
First of all, I wish to say how proud I am of you, for posting this here, for being honest and for meaning every word. For being afraid and letting it show.
You pour so much of yourself in to this, the pain is there to see, as is how much heart you have.
I want you to know, for some of this, I feel pain too.
This is such a heartbreaking plea, almost a prayer and I know that someone is listening.
I love you Dawnie. I am proud of you, and you are strong.
Don't ever let the words go, my beautiful poetess.
Phil xxx
(Who also loves Roxie, for her wisdom and for her heart. I love you, Rox :)) |
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Re: Darkened Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 2nd April 2009 @ 06:26:47 PM AEST
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I find it absolutely incredible that you can write like this through all this pain. I seriously mean it when I say that in itself is amazing and then .. you seem to take that pain and have the strength to will it away.
I am so sorry your family had to go through this. However, this poem is truly art and the inspiration art contains within it.
And Roxie gave you two words to inspire this. Two amazingly inspirational women that where it would not surprise me to see someday they could rule this world because you're both definitely standing on top of it.
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Re: Darkened Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 2nd April 2009 @ 09:35:27 PM AEST
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Well done from start to finish.
huggs, blessings,
emy |
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Re: Darkened Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Thursday, 2nd April 2009 @ 09:52:32 PM AEST
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| Incredible flow.... |
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Re: Darkened Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Thursday, 2nd April 2009 @ 10:59:40 PM AEST
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You are not only the dawn who showers light before Sunrise,
but also the Mother Moon who dispels gloom of the night.
My dear lady, my heart turned into a flow while reading your poem....
sincerely yours
venkat
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Re: Darkened Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 7th April 2009 @ 07:58:26 PM AEST
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My sweet friend,
I'm sorry to have come to this so late.
I did see this earlier, and was so pleased that you gained anything from our conversation.
I'm not sure what two words they were, but I know that deep within that shimmering heart
of yours the magic wand that paints these beautiful pictures of words, did not need my two.
But I am humbled. ^_^
I know how trying those first few hours/days were for you. But what an incredibly healing
sort of write you've fostered. There is so much comfort inside your words. Yes, there is a
sadness that longs to be mended, but the beauty that holds all things together, is here- living
and breathing inside this piece.
Wonderfully and softly inspirational, hun. Your words always hold a comfort that blends with
warmth to wrap our souls in.
love, hugs and hope,
~ Breezy
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Re: Darkened Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 10th April 2009 @ 04:17:37 PM AEST
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I concur - there's a lot of humanness, vulnerability, a lot of you in this piece. Pretty impressive all around.
I can't give a lot of critique, since this is not my native turf style-wise. The form you chose certainly demanded a lot of rhymes, and most of them are really good ones. There're only a few that feel forced; that's almost inevitable.
- A |
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Re: Darkened Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 22nd April 2009 @ 12:44:27 PM AEST
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Yes, your pain is easy to see/ feel in this, yet your great strength is visible too.
Peace to you and your family. |
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