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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 02-June 10:04:28 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 149073
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Story Of Solitude
[time] => 2009-04-12 10:32:53
[hometext] => This is a poem dedicated to the only girl i ever truly loved....my future bride taken in a car accident.
[bodytext] => The lonely nights, Tearful eyes at night, Tears tell a story. This is mine. My true love, My guardian angel, Guide me from above, I'm lost in this life. Spinning out of control. Every day, hoping it will pass.. Don't know how long I'm gonna last. This heart is useless now but still, I try to move on, All I get Used and abused, Treated like refuse. Tired of singing the blues I threw my heart out with yesterdays news. But now i feel so empty. No love in sight. Drugs. Addiction. No sobriety in sight. The pain is there but i don't feel a thing. How do I make this last forever? Darkness consumes, Im going insane...dwelling Long lost thoughts of what once was. What could have been. When will this end? Tired of this life, I've made up my mind. Suicide. The gun is loaded The hammer cocked Gun in my mouth Pull the trigger. Nothing Piece of *****. I clear the chamber and check the bullet. Perfect strike from the firing pin. I should be dead. All will is gone I just close my eyes and once again begin to cry. I swear I heard you say its not my time. So they say im insane. I can only nod and agree. Tell me something i don't know. Medication Psychiatrists Rehab I don't want it. But you tell me to do as they say. I'm better now, so they say. Maybe the're crazy, not me. They are going to let me go today. Drop the meds in the trash on the way out. Sobriety. The drugs took away the pain, But now I see you pretty smile again.. I am trying to come back to reality, Though i never really knew what it was. You live in your world, I'll live in mine. You hurry up, I'm gonna take my time. What happens now? How? When? Why? So many questions. Not enough answers. Scared to love again, Or no longer capable. Only time can tell. So until then, I'm forced to live in this hell. Its been so long since I've felt well. But i'm not going without a fight. I'm throwin punches till I hear the bell. The more I try, The more you smile. Setbacks, False starts, Slipped and tripped. And then I fell. I lay there waiting for you to pick me up. But what you told me. I have to do this for myself. I stand here now on my own two feet. Never far from defeat. But I'm standing I don't know how, Or for how long. Im still not healed, nor will I ever be. I can do this, wait and see. I tell myself over and over trying to believe. Struggling to get back to basics. A day late, A dollar short. A thousand yards behind in a hundred yard dash. Still bringing up the back of the pack, But at least im running. Don't care about getting beat. Finally there is firm ground beneath my feet. Good news...I made it through this week. And you answer with a smile. Its been 5 years now. All I can do is look back in disbelief, Thats its me in this poem as I read. This is real, you best believe. I may not be the pack leader, I may never be. I don't care thats alright with me. I'm comfortable right where i'm at Oh well if its dead last. Who knows if I will ever love again? I still don't know what to belive. This story isn't over. Not yet. I'm not one of you. My mind, pure, undilluted, unphased, I know my place, I am set in my ways Don't try to change me. I don't live to please you. I see your smile, brighter than ever My light at the end of the tunnel That guided me through darkness Delivered me to safety All I can do is smile back at a job well done. My guardian angel Ashley Leann Simmons 09-18-1984 to 10-24-04 [comments] => 4 [counter] => 202 [topic] => 24 [informant] => dhart420 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LoveRemembered )
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