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Array ( [sid] => 154243 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => scars [time] => 2009-10-19 18:26:29 [hometext] => first poem posted please leave a comment and be honest. [bodytext] => she was a loser, she was a friend
just trying to make it to the end
couldn't pull the trigger
left there thinking
one more time alone drinking

her release she wouldn't tell
saw the scars knew fine well
that razzor tattoo she made for you

you found her breathing
lying ther past out
just as you were leaving
lying there past out
lost all she believed in
didn't even help her out

did you pass her the blade
did you clean up your mess
did you pour her the drink
wiould you lay her to rest

what did you do
where did she go
threw her life
straight out the window [comments] => 4 [counter] => 204 [topic] => 8 [informant] => pat888 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AmericanTragedy )

scars

Contributed by pat888 on Monday, 19th October 2009 @ 06:26:29 PM in AEST
Topic: AmericanTragedy

she was a loser, she was a friend
just trying to make it to the end
couldn't pull the trigger
left there thinking
one more time alone drinking

her release she wouldn't tell
saw the scars knew fine well
that razzor tattoo she made for you

you found her breathing
lying ther past out
just as you were leaving
lying there past out
lost all she believed in
didn't even help her out

did you pass her the blade
did you clean up your mess
did you pour her the drink
wiould you lay her to rest

what did you do
where did she go
threw her life
straight out the window

Copyright © pat888 ... [ 2009-10-19 18:26:29]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: scars (User Rating: 1 )
by AngelFox on Monday, 19th October 2009 @ 06:47:08 PM AEST
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Very sad indeed! I felt the emotions coming out of this poem. Great read!

Re: scars (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Monday, 19th October 2009 @ 07:00:44 PM AEST
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A heart breaking write, one of those that hits close to me. Good work and welcome to YPDC.

Michelle

Re: scars (User Rating: 1 )
by LevyMetal on Monday, 19th October 2009 @ 09:52:44 PM AEST
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oh my god! im in love! This poem is absolutely amazing, and hits close to home. Its beautiful and truthful...my fave part??

"did you pass her the blade
did you clean up your mess
did you pour her the drink
wiould you lay her to rest "

i will read your other work... please keep writing!

Re: scars (User Rating: 1 )
by northernlights on Tuesday, 20th October 2009 @ 09:39:58 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Lots of feeling and expression in this poem i agree with levymetal best verse did you pass her the blade................very powerful questioning and aportioning blame

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