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Array
(
[sid] => 154490
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => God's tears
[time] => 2009-10-28 00:38:23
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => God's tears There is a God in everyone's heart. It's a resource in our mind, it's a prayer with scare. God is ubiquity, living in our deep heart. God is almighty in our heart, and it will help us. When Christ was crucified on a crucifix, he was called God. But when Christ's head sank forward on his breast, his tears dropped or not? Perhaps, nobody could see. A boy loved a girl in network. He heard she was talking with somebody. He was enjoying her laughter talking with somebody early. But much longer, the frown on his face showed that he was displeased. What on earth was she like? How about her soft heart under the veil? He could feel that she was not happy. For one reason or another, whenever he pictured her figure in his mind, he couldn't help laughing. By accident, he saw her photo. It was about the same as he had ever pictured. It's really a surprise, that was a really creepy coincidence. He felt he loved her very much, it's indescribable, even no any reason. So, he always listened to her talking very carefully, to watch her typing, even to cut all the chat records talking with her and to read them quietly again and again. For tasting her every word, he started to understand her. He learned how to look at problem standing her side. He always looked at her photo to think of her smile, her grievance, and her naughty look. Slowly, he felt she was the right girl he wanted to be close to, she was the lovely girl he wanted. But at that time, he had had his girlfriend. He mooched and regretted, he didn't know what to do. On many sleepless nights, he thought to leave his girlfriend for her, or never to tell anyone. His heart sank at the thoughts, the problems were banking up. Was he worth to be loved by her if he casted his girlfriend aside? How could he talk love with her if he hid the truth? He gave up. He didn't want to stain his angel with his selfish love. Love is not lust and possession. Love needs to give freely and to follow closely. After struggling, he told himself quietly, never to tell his love for her. As time went on, when he learnt to love her with this way, she told him she was falling in love with a man. It's just a game, because the man was married and had his wife and children. His whole heart trembled when he heard it. Here, let me call the man " Y ". In the boy's heart, the girl was holy as a angel. He couldn't accept his angel to love such a man, he got angry with Y, how could Y say love to his angel! In his heart, Y couldn't say love to the girl any more than him. No, they couldn't! He talked with her for a long time with his agitation and loss. There was much worry and uneasiness in his words. She told him, she felt good with Y, she wanted to stay with Y. How could she know? Her words made him upset, and hurt his heart deeply. Tossing and turning restlessly in bed, he couldn't sleep all the night. He didn't know what to do. He blamed himself, if the ending was just so, why didn't he tell his love for her? Were struggle and suffering love's instruction? If so, he would experience the whole process. She chose such a man to love, what ending would be after she gave all her love? He hoped she wouldn't be sad. If so, he would be sadder than her. Just so, he decided to go away from her. Because he hoped he wouldn't see the ending. After leaving her, he still missed and cared for her a lot with every single day. In his mind, there was full of tears from her eyes. He understood at the end, he couldn't leave her, the partition was just torment. So, he decided, if he loved her, he should follow what she liked, to respect her choice, and never to show his wound to her, and give all his happiness to her. No matter how the future was, he would stay with her forever. He came back with a smart way. He talked with her, enlightening her. On that occasion, his girlfriend parted with him. He thought he would have a right to tell her his love just like all the children's fairy tales, and there would be a happy ending. But in fact, children's fairy tales are all just a hope. Be sure, he had lost the chance of loving her. He didn't want her to wander around, and he didn't want her to feel completely at sea, still keep the role of a defender. She didn't mean to mention her again and again, because she would never know there was pain and sorrow going through his heart. He would never tell her his pain and sorrow. Perhaps, this proved that he loved her much more. He smiled, it made one's heart ache...... Little girl, did you know how many loves could bank up understanding? By chat time was augmenting daily, he couldn't control his love any more. He was tired and fretful. So, he used to add some words in his messages, " I am not a God." But she didn't understand it. In fact, he wanted to tell her, he loved her, he wanted to do something special for her, but he was not a God, he couldn't be an unselfish man with no desire. But whenever he said he was not a God, she said always, " I feel you are a God. " His eyes were wet and hot, his tears was flowing accidentally over his face to keyboard, no sound, being quiet and quiet. The air was solidifying, to be frost, floating to his heart. He realized at last, God can cry indeed, God can wander indeed. He wondered why God can always make people smile and strong. He understands, the man giving love out is God. He told her, he would like to be her God. He would never leave her alone, especially when she was lost and he would protect her forever. Maybe, she will never know his passionate feelings for her. This story, there was much affectionateness but no fate. Coming across in their life beyond the grave, are there be any remains? If time can tell about love, why not live till the end of the world? I hope girls can treasure the following eyes beside them, and to care for all the men who are staying with you...... [comments] => 0 [counter] => 162 [topic] => 48 [informant] => holy [notes] => Corrected spelling as requested ~ Moderator_18 Oct 28, 2009 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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