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Array
(
[sid] => 15544
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => The Darkness
[time] => 2003-04-04 16:05:00
[hometext] => I wrote this when I was going through a really tough time in my life.
[bodytext] => The Darkness
I stand-alone in this dark place nowhere left to go in this world. Nothing left to live for, no one who cares. I ask myself, “ Why don’t you just end it all?” So I stumble in the darkness, I search for that knife that I so long ago threw away. I see it lying there on the floor next to me. I bend down to get it; it slides away from me, going further into the darkness. I run searching for it, tripping over some unseen object. I look around a little more, and suddenly there’s light. It shines on that unseen object. I look and it’s a dead body, I turn the body over and scream as I recognize the face. I cry and tell the corpse that I’m sorry and that I did love him. My tears and apologies fall on deaf ears though and now I know that I really have nothing left in life. I lost the love of my life to the rotten things that come along, the way I never learned to appreciate him and his love. I wonder how he got there in the darkness with me; I should be there alone, no one is supposed to be there I’m a bad person that’s why here. The light goes out and I’m once again scared. I wonder where the knife went to. I walk a little further making sure that there’s not another surprise for me, I step on the knife and I look down. I can see the steel glint in the darkness that surrounds me. I pick it up and look at it. I turn around and try to find my way back to the corpse of my dead lover. Great, I’ve lost myself again, damnit I hate this darkness! I look around wondering if there’s a way out. After what seems like hours I realize that there’s no way, well there is one way. The knife. Its still there in my hand, I forgot all about it, I look up crying again…but there’s no one to hear me or to see the tears. I talk into the darkness “Why? Where was God when I needed Him? Where were You? You left me alone. I find someone who loves me and I can’t have him becoz I’m evil and You don’t want it to be. Everyone laughs at me for the things that I’ve done or the way I look, how could You allow such cruelty into your “perfect” world? I alwayz believed in You but then you condemn me to this darkness….this cold, dark place. Why? Just tell me why!!!!!!!!!” And with that I clutch the knife in my hand and hold it over my wrist. I feel the cold steel biting into my flesh, cutting my delicate skin. Busting the veins in my wrist, letting the blood flow free. I think its almost over all of it, the laughs, the loneliness, and the cruelty. I feel myself getting weak; I fall to the ground…right next to my dead lover. That special love that I killed so long ago without realizing it. I clasp my hand in his, feeling the cold, dead fingers entwined in mine. I lay his head on my chest and in the last moments I play with his hair, then I fall into a deep sleep, never to awake again. By: Me Sylvia XOXO [comments] => 3 [counter] => 148 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Dreamer18 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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