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Array
(
[sid] => 158752
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Whatrospec
[time] => 2010-04-08 14:10:19
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I find myself more and more apprehensive of those around me. It seems I no longer value intent but live in a world of concealed deliberate action. Slowly, day by day I begin to trust less and become more reclusive. I starve for a vision that will un-cloud the vigor of my mind but I fall victim to penance and scratch at the walls. Phases are not to be sought out but are a force that curbs ability and redefines direction. Can one continue on just as they were despite the overcoming obstacles? Perhaps, but seeing motivation become blurred by intensive self determination can cause one to become bewildered by fact and purpose and cause an individual to alienate their mind and emotions from themselves. More critically, the internal shivering reveals itself in an external context that creates subversion from self. I cannot begin to think I have any kind of grasp on my life and in ignoring this and believing a lie; I may push myself deeper to an abyss of collusive action. Eventually, if I give way to form and pattern and accept myself as having no stability - it will replace my sense of unease and I will once again be grounded in something that requires nothing of me but makes me all the more inquisitive. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 141 [topic] => 64 [informant] => odessa19 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ambiguous )
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