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Array ( [sid] => 160281 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => I could almost pretend hospital was a dream... [time] => 2010-05-31 19:30:50 [hometext] => [bodytext] => I could almost pretend that hospital was just a dream,
Only I have reminders that I was there.
Like the biro scribble on my favourite jeans,
That I did on Jade ward when I was too low to care.

Like the photo’s of bruises that were inflicted on me,
And the friends I made on Coral ward.
Like the extra scars I cut deep into me,
Because I couldn’t take life anymore.

Like how my thighs look almost like sticks,
Because I gave up on food altogether.
No food to eat so no need to be sick.
Because I just wanted to look thinner…

And how I’ve still got the clothes which were given to me,
As all I had were the clothes on my back.
And I still feel broken so deep inside me,
Because of the staff’s back chat!

Like my diaries I wrote.
And the cigarettes I smoked.
It all comes back,
And my poor lungs feel attacked.

And my sleeping pattern is messed up,
Because my med’s dosage was too much.
And my concentration never got better.
Enough though I take meds no longer.

I see flash backs of that place.
Of people shouting in my face.
Of others so sedated they didn’t speak.
But their eyes were screaming ‘please help me’!

I have memories good and bad.
Mostly with pain, abuse and sadness.
That place would have cracked someone with nerves of steel.
I can’t explain to depths of how bad it made me feel.

Was it too much to ask for the staff to treat us fairly?
To make environment not seem so scary?
Was it too much to have rights to cry?
And to not punished for wanting to cry?

Was I in the wrong to expect support?
Respect, and to not be provoked into feeling distraught?
To have rights when not on a section?
To not have to watch others get broken?
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 273 [topic] => 65 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => toughstuff )

I could almost pretend hospital was a dream...

Contributed by deathdrop on Monday, 31st May 2010 @ 07:30:50 PM in AEST
Topic: toughstuff

I could almost pretend that hospital was just a dream,
Only I have reminders that I was there.
Like the biro scribble on my favourite jeans,
That I did on Jade ward when I was too low to care.

Like the photo’s of bruises that were inflicted on me,
And the friends I made on Coral ward.
Like the extra scars I cut deep into me,
Because I couldn’t take life anymore.

Like how my thighs look almost like sticks,
Because I gave up on food altogether.
No food to eat so no need to be sick.
Because I just wanted to look thinner…

And how I’ve still got the clothes which were given to me,
As all I had were the clothes on my back.
And I still feel broken so deep inside me,
Because of the staff’s back chat!

Like my diaries I wrote.
And the cigarettes I smoked.
It all comes back,
And my poor lungs feel attacked.

And my sleeping pattern is messed up,
Because my med’s dosage was too much.
And my concentration never got better.
Enough though I take meds no longer.

I see flash backs of that place.
Of people shouting in my face.
Of others so sedated they didn’t speak.
But their eyes were screaming ‘please help me’!

I have memories good and bad.
Mostly with pain, abuse and sadness.
That place would have cracked someone with nerves of steel.
I can’t explain to depths of how bad it made me feel.

Was it too much to ask for the staff to treat us fairly?
To make environment not seem so scary?
Was it too much to have rights to cry?
And to not punished for wanting to cry?

Was I in the wrong to expect support?
Respect, and to not be provoked into feeling distraught?
To have rights when not on a section?
To not have to watch others get broken?

Copyright Â© deathdrop ... [ 2010-05-31 19:30:50]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: I could almost pretend hospital was a dream... (User Rating: 1 )
by Angel-1 on Tuesday, 13th July 2010 @ 05:36:25 AM AEST
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i can very much relate to this as sometimes i think that my time in hospital was a dream. Until i wear the jeans with the hole in the knee from where it got sliced open. Or the Superman shirt that i remember was once blue but then turned red stained almost completely with my blood. or when i look in the mirror and see the scar on my nose or chin from my accident. I can relate, this poem is very close to my heart.

Re: I could almost pretend hospital was a dream... (User Rating: 1 )
by Daniellemarie on Monday, 9th August 2010 @ 08:54:53 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This poem is a beatiful yet dark reminder of your pain, and goes well with that saying theres beauty in the break down. Im sure your stay at that hospital will forever be something you wish to forget, but also gives you creativity and lessons to reflect back on. very good poem.

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