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Array ( [sid] => 160412 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Moths [time] => 2010-06-07 09:17:31 [hometext] => Hmmm...I'm on the fence about this one :/ Well, more on the fence than usual. Advice? [bodytext] => All the broken people sway as one
To the pulse of the music.
They hover in the neon light like
Moths attracted to a fluorescent flame,
Gulping down vodka as though it's sugar water.
And it burns
But not as much as the searing self-hatred.
Their minds spin and soar above reality
Until they laugh and buzz and scream
With the euphoria of sweet freedom
From themselves.
Too soon their wings are ripped off,
Leaving them with vague memories
Of superficial happiness and stains on their
Pretty white dresses. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 211 [topic] => 74 [informant] => xXInkInMyVeinsXx [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 17 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => surreal )

Moths

Contributed by xXInkInMyVeinsXx on Monday, 7th June 2010 @ 09:17:31 AM in AEST
Topic: surreal

All the broken people sway as one
To the pulse of the music.
They hover in the neon light like
Moths attracted to a fluorescent flame,
Gulping down vodka as though it's sugar water.
And it burns
But not as much as the searing self-hatred.
Their minds spin and soar above reality
Until they laugh and buzz and scream
With the euphoria of sweet freedom
From themselves.
Too soon their wings are ripped off,
Leaving them with vague memories
Of superficial happiness and stains on their
Pretty white dresses.

Copyright © xXInkInMyVeinsXx ... [ 2010-06-07 09:17:31]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Moths (User Rating: 1 )
by northernlights on Monday, 7th June 2010 @ 11:16:50 PM AEST
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Very powerful write backed up by strong imagery.....too soon their wings are ripped off...factory processed happiness soon to fade into distant memory,anger and hopelessness running all the way through this as though life is sneering at the superficiality

Re: Moths (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 9th June 2010 @ 03:41:33 AM AEST
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Definately no need to be on the fence, though i understand the feeling.
This is really quite excellent.
Perhaps just a slight rearranging of sentence structure?
to add even more potency to the images.
It's excellent though,
Mickey

Re: Moths (User Rating: 1 )
by quadira on Monday, 19th July 2010 @ 10:21:20 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Loved this. Beautiful words for a true and raw subject. Reminds me of festivals i used to go to. so many people blinded by false happiness.

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