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Array
(
[sid] => 160654
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Behind My Smile
[time] => 2010-06-18 10:55:48
[hometext] => The ups and downs of bipola
[bodytext] => Behind my smile I'm sinking again into the bottemless hole of sorrow, Hanging onto the hope of the manic rising up again tomorrow, My heart bleeds as it races ahead of my mind, Thoughts racing like thier running out of time, One half of me's telling the other i'll be fine, While the others hurting, sinking, crying. The teared stain pillow reads the story of my life, How i smile in the day unleash the heatache at night. Keep composure, no emotional exposure, remain strong...hold on. But now...The strentgh is gone. Up and down the rollercoaster is draining. Memories paining me to re-call, Running into the writtings of the brick wall, It grazes me inside...tempts that contemplation to die, There's a fight, 'cus i'm not ready to die, i've still got it in me to try, Grit my teeth and bare the strife, Embrace the pure rain of life. Hold on to the bright future in which i believe i hold, Truth be told, my time will come but the stuggle will never be done, I can rejoice in fake fun, but theres an emptiness i can't overcome, So i sucome to the sadness behind my eyes, The sadness i try so hard to hide......... With my smile. Stephanie Jones 2010 [comments] => 6 [counter] => 335 [topic] => 61 [informant] => MissJones [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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