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Asylum
Contributed by
carebear_baby_1988
on
Saturday, 31st July 2010 @ 11:05:25 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
my heart burns with envy
but yet the icy wall that isolates me
from the outside world
will not melt
into a puddle of water
so i will stay in this
insane asylum
strapped down from head to toe
on a cement bed
her rist's and ankles
are raw
from struggling
her scream sounds so weak
tired of all the differant injections
so she just lays there
knowing
she will never return
to what she called
the free world
Copyright ©
carebear_baby_1988
... [
2010-07-31 11:05:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Asylum
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXInkInMyVeinsXx on
Saturday, 31st July 2010 @ 11:47:42 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Nice poem :) I'm not sure about the switch from first person to third person though and 'rists' is supposed to be 'wrists' i think. Other than that, it's great :) |
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Re: Asylum
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 31st July 2010 @ 01:39:42 PM AEST
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Welcome to YPDC.
Sad write but really good writing.
Blessings,
emy |
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Re: Asylum
(User Rating: 1 )
by thebadguy9999 on
Saturday, 31st July 2010 @ 10:07:22 PM AEST
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| nice |
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Re: Asylum
(User Rating: 1 )
by williamdye on
Sunday, 1st August 2010 @ 04:02:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I really liked this and i feel very much the same. |
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