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Array ( [sid] => 162312 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Bleeding eyes [time] => 2010-09-14 04:35:56 [hometext] => sometimes life just gets overwhelming. [bodytext] => On days like this I have no wish to be
the tears flow down as my eyes bleed
from not being able to see myself
no true vision of humanity or health.

My mind consumes me with thoughts of the hopeless
as I begin to cope less and less
and ephemeral spiral
and descent into a dark, viral mind.

For all I want is love and worth
that maybe there was a purpose to my birth
that I was meant to strive for more
than study, lust, occupation or desire.

Desire to be more than heard or seen
but rather felt to have my being
held and fostered like a seed
that has a purpose to grow, to breed.

Breed virtues into the world where there are none
but why can I not feel anyone?
Why is there a haunting absense of desire?
Why can I not feel a passionate fire?

That enables seeds to grow after a disaster,
so that they may live forever after
but rather a fire that ravishes things
and destroys my mind from the outside in.

I want to go to sleep everyday
thinking that maybe in some small way
the day was being worth living through
that I will wake up and feel the comfort of living another day.

I look at myself, a vision of disgusting worthlessness
and I wipe the tears away from my face.
Just to see my face stained with blood,
with pitiful blood, drop after drop after drop.

I go to bed thinking:
Would it be better if I didn't live today?
Would it be better if I didn't wake tommorow? [comments] => 4 [counter] => 310 [topic] => 36 [informant] => natizzle [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

Bleeding eyes

Contributed by natizzle on Tuesday, 14th September 2010 @ 04:35:56 AM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

On days like this I have no wish to be
the tears flow down as my eyes bleed
from not being able to see myself
no true vision of humanity or health.

My mind consumes me with thoughts of the hopeless
as I begin to cope less and less
and ephemeral spiral
and descent into a dark, viral mind.

For all I want is love and worth
that maybe there was a purpose to my birth
that I was meant to strive for more
than study, lust, occupation or desire.

Desire to be more than heard or seen
but rather felt to have my being
held and fostered like a seed
that has a purpose to grow, to breed.

Breed virtues into the world where there are none
but why can I not feel anyone?
Why is there a haunting absense of desire?
Why can I not feel a passionate fire?

That enables seeds to grow after a disaster,
so that they may live forever after
but rather a fire that ravishes things
and destroys my mind from the outside in.

I want to go to sleep everyday
thinking that maybe in some small way
the day was being worth living through
that I will wake up and feel the comfort of living another day.

I look at myself, a vision of disgusting worthlessness
and I wipe the tears away from my face.
Just to see my face stained with blood,
with pitiful blood, drop after drop after drop.

I go to bed thinking:
Would it be better if I didn't live today?
Would it be better if I didn't wake tommorow?

Copyright © natizzle ... [ 2010-09-14 04:35:56]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Bleeding eyes (User Rating: 1 )
by Awesomeness on Tuesday, 14th September 2010 @ 09:52:26 AM AEST
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Deep. You have talent.

Re: Bleeding eyes (User Rating: 1 )
by neverlosehope on Tuesday, 14th September 2010 @ 02:26:41 PM AEST
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this is a really deep and moving poem. you have written it well. i have had these thoughts/feelings in the past and have felt the same so thanks for sharing ur poem. hang in there and stay strong x

Re: Bleeding eyes (User Rating: 1 )
by autumnlady on Thursday, 16th September 2010 @ 05:43:55 AM AEST
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Very moving words. Take care.

Re: Bleeding eyes (User Rating: 1 )
by MichaelM93 on Sunday, 9th January 2011 @ 08:29:23 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Wonderful, just wonderful. I feel this exact same way a lot of the time, so this really impacted me. Keep writing, this is a talent to put this into words.

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