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Array ( [sid] => 163584 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The Threat [time] => 2010-12-06 20:15:16 [hometext] => i wrote this in five min [bodytext] => My hidden pain surrounds me.
It covers and sufficates me.
I look around,
and almost drown.
My heart beats out of my chest.
Stomp on it and put me to rest.
My pain isn't hidden well.
If you see it swell.
Don't try to save me.
I'll survive, wait and see.
My heart is in tatters,
but that hardly matters.
You've pushed me to the limit.
You won't admit it.
I can see the edge of the grave.
Don't rant, don't rave.
I'll be gone soon,
maybe by the new moon.
You have killed my tender side.
Now run, now hide.
I'll be coming for you.
Then you know what i'll do.
I'll give you back the pain.
It will fall like rain. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 215 [topic] => 6 [informant] => lady-quiet-dreamer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 7 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )

The Threat

Contributed by lady-quiet-dreamer on Monday, 6th December 2010 @ 08:15:16 PM in AEST
Topic: AngryPoetry

My hidden pain surrounds me.
It covers and sufficates me.
I look around,
and almost drown.
My heart beats out of my chest.
Stomp on it and put me to rest.
My pain isn't hidden well.
If you see it swell.
Don't try to save me.
I'll survive, wait and see.
My heart is in tatters,
but that hardly matters.
You've pushed me to the limit.
You won't admit it.
I can see the edge of the grave.
Don't rant, don't rave.
I'll be gone soon,
maybe by the new moon.
You have killed my tender side.
Now run, now hide.
I'll be coming for you.
Then you know what i'll do.
I'll give you back the pain.
It will fall like rain.

Copyright © lady-quiet-dreamer ... [ 2010-12-06 20:15:16]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The Threat (User Rating: 1 )
by Njd1105 on Monday, 6th December 2010 @ 08:25:29 PM AEST
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Deep. Great write

Re: The Threat (User Rating: 1 )
by deusdeira on Monday, 6th December 2010 @ 10:37:58 PM AEST
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Not bad for five minutes. I liked it.

Re: The Threat (User Rating: 1 )
by huwbeauty on Tuesday, 7th December 2010 @ 02:28:03 AM AEST
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Really good,I always find my best work comes easily and quickly.Its very easy to over think a poem.

Re: The Threat (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Tuesday, 7th December 2010 @ 11:31:52 PM AEST
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Speed writer I like it lol!

I liked it all but the line my pain isn't hidden well THAT struck me!

We are all always trying to hide the depth of our feelings aren't we??

Well done
Michelle

Re: The Threat (User Rating: 1 )
by shereal_14 on Tuesday, 21st December 2010 @ 06:58:06 PM AEST
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Awesome poem!!! I, too write poetry quickly. I can only write a poem when I'm feeling it, I can't jot down some stuff and come back later, I have to get it all out at once. Keep up the great work!!!

Sheryl

Re: The Threat (User Rating: 1 )
by LovelChelsea on Thursday, 20th January 2011 @ 08:52:47 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I'm so in love with this poem it's not even right O.o

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