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Array ( [sid] => 164286 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Re-entry [time] => 2011-01-16 19:07:12 [hometext] => explorative, a little dark, disconnected, pay attention to the waning focus [bodytext] => I took a cold walk in cold shoes. Stepping
lightly on padded air, as though my treads
would fall clean through clouds. And then--
a silent drop, my fingers clawing at cold sky.

The air is thin here. But I breathe! And
I fall. Weightless, seeing the heavens
for what they are: empty.

And my limbs beckon a thin
layer of ice. I claw harder but
it seems I do not burn brightly enough
to shake the weight.

Rigor is next. Contorted and fixed are
the world below and the body above
it grows, I fade

though i seem forward
the ground is rushing to meet me

embrace
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 158 [topic] => 64 [informant] => joelmuses [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ambiguous )

Re-entry

Contributed by joelmuses on Sunday, 16th January 2011 @ 07:07:12 PM in AEST
Topic: ambiguous

I took a cold walk in cold shoes. Stepping
lightly on padded air, as though my treads
would fall clean through clouds. And then--
a silent drop, my fingers clawing at cold sky.

The air is thin here. But I breathe! And
I fall. Weightless, seeing the heavens
for what they are: empty.

And my limbs beckon a thin
layer of ice. I claw harder but
it seems I do not burn brightly enough
to shake the weight.

Rigor is next. Contorted and fixed are
the world below and the body above
it grows, I fade

though i seem forward
the ground is rushing to meet me

embrace

Copyright © joelmuses ... [ 2011-01-16 19:07:12]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Re-entry (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Sunday, 16th January 2011 @ 08:14:58 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Awesome write. Very deep and powerful.
Blessings,
emy

Re: Re-entry (User Rating: 1 )
by deusdeira on Monday, 17th January 2011 @ 03:32:27 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Hmmmm. I enjoyed reading this poem. I read it several times. I don't know if you were just being literal, but I like how you talk about how your "treads would fall clean through the clouds." This could easily be a metaphor about uncertainty. Then you go on talking about clawing at a cold sky, which I see as an expression of helplessness and futility, as you fall.

And then you fade... waiting for the embrace of the ground. Also could be a metaphor.

I'm not sure if you meant this as a deep poem, but it is, and I love it. It is both literal and metaphorical :) Have you ever been sky diving? because this sounds a bit like that. haha

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