Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!
Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com    Poems On Site: 198,500+   Comments On Poems: 427,000+   Forum Posts: 105,000+
Custom Search
  Welcome ! Home  ·  FAQ  ·  Topics  ·  Web Links  ·  Your Account  ·  Submit Poetry  ·  Top 30  ·  OldSite Link 09-June 20:55:21 AEST  
  Menu
  Home
· Micks Shop
· Our eBay Store· Error Submit
 Poetry
· Submit Poetry
· Least Read Poems
· Topics
· Members Listing
· Old Site Post 2001
· Old Site Pre 2001
· Poetry Archive
· Public Domain Poetry
 Stories
· Stories (NEW ! )
· Submit Story
· Story Topics
· Stories Archive
· Story Search
  Community
· Our Poetry Forums
· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

  Site Help
· FAQ
· Feedback

  Members Areas
· Your Account
· Members Journals
· Premium Sign-Up
  Premium Section
· Special Section
· Premium Poems
· Premium Submit
· Premium Search
· Premium Top
· Premium Archive
· Premium Topics
 Fun & Games

· Jokes
· Bubble Puzzle
· ConnectN
· Cross Word
· Cross Word Easy
· Drag Puzzle
· Word Hunt
 Reference
· Dictionary
· Dictionary (Rhyming)
· Site Updates
· Content
· Special Content
 Search
· Search
· Web Links
· All Links
 Top
· Top 30
  Help This Site
· Donations
 Others
· Recipes
· Moderators
Our Other Sites
· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

  Social

Array ( [sid] => 164500 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => help me [time] => 2011-01-27 18:12:31 [hometext] => a very old one here. . . [bodytext] => help me
I need you
through speeding days
& flash-back nights
pictures of memory
roll on & on
I cry remembering
love-shaped words
you used to whisper
me in night. . .
soft touches given
once for love
your face all glowing
eyes desire. . .


help me
the sinners sing out
& saints speak deep
to heal the hurt
soft prayers drift down
& words fall
from open mouths
no. . . is cried behind the hymn
no. I died
left you in a world of sin
rainbows form & become flat
as tears from angels
softly touch my grave



help me
no. . . you said
& turned to walk away
but something struck your heart
gave you pause. . . made you stay
I think the secret. . .
lost. . .
flies from my eyes
what else. . .
what else. . . could have held you back



help me
now. . . you could not
the flowers you brought
looked like some we'd lost. . .
sometime. . .
somewhere. . .
I guess they reminded me
of days gone by
of love
we loved. . .
of sin
we took. . .
of love we took. . . away. . . away. . .
your tears fall down
upon this land
& through the dirt
I see your grief. . .



help me
oh how I needed you
to live on
how then could you deny
me. . .
my love
I reach through
wood
& dirt
& worms
& through the earth
my hand clears. . .
I take your hand in mine
I feel your fear
I pull you down
through earth soaked wet
by tear
struggling & fighting
you find yourself here. . .
as glowing coals rool down
now & then
the fire streams red
& falls around
soon after laughter
you become quite hot
help me
you cry. . .
but I cannot. . .
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 295 [topic] => 13 [informant] => elle [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 20 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
help me

Contributed by elle on Thursday, 27th January 2011 @ 06:12:31 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



help me
I need you
through speeding days
& flash-back nights
pictures of memory
roll on & on
I cry remembering
love-shaped words
you used to whisper
me in night. . .
soft touches given
once for love
your face all glowing
eyes desire. . .


help me
the sinners sing out
& saints speak deep
to heal the hurt
soft prayers drift down
& words fall
from open mouths
no. . . is cried behind the hymn
no. I died
left you in a world of sin
rainbows form & become flat
as tears from angels
softly touch my grave



help me
no. . . you said
& turned to walk away
but something struck your heart
gave you pause. . . made you stay
I think the secret. . .
lost. . .
flies from my eyes
what else. . .
what else. . . could have held you back



help me
now. . . you could not
the flowers you brought
looked like some we'd lost. . .
sometime. . .
somewhere. . .
I guess they reminded me
of days gone by
of love
we loved. . .
of sin
we took. . .
of love we took. . . away. . . away. . .
your tears fall down
upon this land
& through the dirt
I see your grief. . .



help me
oh how I needed you
to live on
how then could you deny
me. . .
my love
I reach through
wood
& dirt
& worms
& through the earth
my hand clears. . .
I take your hand in mine
I feel your fear
I pull you down
through earth soaked wet
by tear
struggling & fighting
you find yourself here. . .
as glowing coals rool down
now & then
the fire streams red
& falls around
soon after laughter
you become quite hot
help me
you cry. . .
but I cannot. . .




Copyright © elle ... [ 2011-01-27 18:12:31]
(Date/Time posted on site)





Advertisments:






Previous Posted Poem         | |         Next Posted Poem


 
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.
Re: help me (User Rating: 1 )
by Aspirant on Thursday, 27th January 2011 @ 08:57:40 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Elle, you really have a unique poetic voice here. The speaker is both scary and pitiable. Few poets can get the words to flow so softly and eloquently off the page as you do here... wonderful!

I have a few modest suggestions for how you might further polish the write:

In the third stanza, I found the line "flies from my eyes" a little perplexing. That being the case, I'm not sure what to suggest as an alternative but just wanted to offer my 2 cents that it wasn't clear to me.

Also, nearing the end, you give the line "struggling & fighting" as a rather brief summary of the conflict involved... I think this is a significant point in the poem where you might choose to emphasize the contrast in emotion between the quiet tones used elsewhere and the intense feelings of rage or indignation that seem to exist between the two lovers.

Of course, as it stands, there's no real need for change. Thanks very much for the read.


Re: help me (User Rating: 1 )
by kleetas on Thursday, 27th January 2011 @ 10:12:26 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
how long has this been goin' on'- THATS the line that comes to mind ....like intertwown loins of arms inter-twined...


Re: help me (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Friday, 28th January 2011 @ 01:07:29 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Good work, very thought provoking.
blessings,
emy


Re: help me (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 30th January 2011 @ 04:21:24 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Goodness gracious, Elle, you should write a screenplay!!!! Your genes = genius. Smile!


Re: help me (User Rating: 1 )
by hetlerkh on Monday, 7th February 2011 @ 04:27:30 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
like like like !! with two thumbs up !
totally deep n expressive ...
i haven't been around ... but i just came read this n i can really say your writings are still amazing and passionate :) !
your #1 fan ! :D keep it up




While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com