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Array ( [sid] => 16632 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => Instants end like shooting stars [time] => 2003-04-28 02:35:00 [hometext] => i think i need help writing stuff that doesnt rhyme, i dont know how that quite works yet i just got into poetry, but heres another epiphany. [bodytext] =>
Instants are like a shooting star.
In memory, like sky, far
However in mind seems near.
The loss of the instant I fear
The luster of it’s illustrious gases
Burn-In moment forever passes
And the beauty of star like an instant
Move on and become distant
It’s effects like a drug leaves my eyes mar
And instants end like a shooting star.
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 296 [topic] => 21 [informant] => stateofgray [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 6 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
Instants end like shooting stars

Contributed by stateofgray on Monday, 28th April 2003 @ 02:35:00 AM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems




Instants are like a shooting star.
In memory, like sky, far
However in mind seems near.
The loss of the instant I fear
The luster of it’s illustrious gases
Burn-In moment forever passes
And the beauty of star like an instant
Move on and become distant
It’s effects like a drug leaves my eyes mar
And instants end like a shooting star.




Copyright © stateofgray ... [ 2003-04-28 02:35:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Instants end like shooting stars (User Rating: 1 )
by TheSpiritx on Monday, 28th April 2003 @ 02:51:13 AM AEST
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Pretty cool. Don't worry about your style... however you write is how YOU write. My poems follow structural patterns, but, for the most part, don't rhyme. That's my preference and my strength. Rhyming makes the poem flow, which is a positive benefit to any literature. Don't change your style for the sake of change.. :)


Re: Instants end like shooting stars (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 28th April 2003 @ 06:42:46 AM AEST
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I agree with the comment above. It doesn't atter what your writing style is as long as the end product says what you want it to. I like it!!

sleepless_siren


Re: Instants end like shooting stars (User Rating: 1 )
by Raindropwings on Friday, 16th May 2003 @ 01:49:50 AM AEST
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I like the idea of an instant being like a shooting star. Good thought.
As for the rhyming, both above comments are right. I've written hundreds of poems that rhyme, but sometimes I prefer not to. It depends, and any style can work. However, if you're serious about the desire to write without rhyme than that's okay too. Try and write with the idea of line breaks in mind. When you're writing with end rhyme, your statements will tend to end in the rhyme and carry over fluidly into the next continued statement. Consider unrhymed poetry more fragmentary. The rhythm should be more stutter-step, and you'll find your own way. The important thing is to know what you're trying to say, and then get the perfect stubborn words. That's what works for me anyway, good luck.




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