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Array
(
[sid] => 168282
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => SHE JUST WON'T DIE
[time] => 2011-11-02 10:43:42
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Out of my zone on my way home It was an early morn in the fall. But a domestic was now in progress, And I was ordered to take this call! I arrived at a two bedroom house Just a block from where I lived. A thought was running through my mind, “What resistance will they give?” As I approached the front door, From inside I heard a scream. I knocked and loudly announced myself. The door was locked as well as the screen. “Help he’s trying to kill me” Yelled the same voice as before. I didn’t have to think twice, So I broke down that front door. I observed a knife raised in the air As I raised my gun up high. But when I did a double take I could hardly believe my eyes! He was yelling “I am John Cerutti, And this bee-atch she just won’t die!” “We both have passed one hundred years, “Don’t you think it’s well past time?” I grabbed his arm and took his knife, And pushed him onto a couch! His brittle leg shot up toward me Causing me to yell out “Ouch!” A sucker kick right into my groin Hitting such a tender spot. I almost punched him in the face But I just cussed at that old snot! I turned and saw another knife Coming at me from behind. Mrs. Cerutti was at me yelling. “Stop!, can’t you see that he is blind?” I disarmed the century old lady, And I didn’t know what to do. I imagined tomorrow’s headlines, And the laughter that might ensue! The problem was solved soon, I called the elderly crime unit that day. They responded for the old folks own good, And in custody drove them away. I didn’t take too much ribbing, From fellow officers, friends and such. It died down in a month or two, When my balls didn’t hurt so much! [comments] => 1 [counter] => 59 [topic] => 13 [informant] => robert_edgar_burns [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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