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Array
(
[sid] => 174889
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Employees must wash their hands before returning to work.
[time] => 2013-01-23 15:10:48
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => In a struggle to find the comfort between what eases the tension and is forceful enough to get the job done. One step at a time barely seems to make a dent. I hurry through the paces not knowing what’s around the corner and too scared to take a peek. I hold my tongue, plaster a smile on my face, but my disguise misses its mark. Deep breathes of shallow air leave me drawing in a pool of my own sweat and blood. The loneliness I seek is all around me, yet all I can do is immerse myself in the social standards of what society deem I become. I am not that person, as much as I wish I was. I am not that man, that success, that lover, that writer, that thinker, that human being that most probably are. I am lesser, not equal, not on par, nor deserving of life’s fruits and what they bare. Long ago time has burst the bubble of what dreams floated in my mind. Reality now sets in, and it hurts, quite literally, where I expected it the least, and the most. I search now for nothing more than simple answers to routine problems that the lucky man takes for granted. A good night sleep, a deep passionate kiss, a cry from a baby I never fathered. A handful of mundane pleasures that elude me to no end taunt me from afar. Simply being thankful for what I have is a constructive way to simply maintain and survive. However, survival is basic and life is complex and in the complexity lays the beauty of what never will be and what I never was. More often than not, a look in the mirror suffices to disgust me to my very core. Angry at myself, I am no more. Acceptance of this mediocrity has supplanted any desire for more. Complacent in my existence, I give myself over to the forces that consume weaker men, and define those destined for greatness. My path has been chosen, there is no return.
[comments] => 0
[counter] => 133
[topic] => 43
[informant] => jyssvw
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
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[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => oops
)
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