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Array
(
[sid] => 176879
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => OCD
[time] => 2013-09-18 00:42:11
[hometext] => A few years ago I was diagnosed with Obsessive Thoughts Disorder which is a form of OCD. I wanted to reach out and share my experience dealing with the disorder through this poem and I also wanted to let fellow sufferers know that they aren't alone.
[bodytext] => Imagine thinking And now imagine that you aren't thinking But thinking at the same time That these thoughts that you're thinking aren't actually what you're thinking Crazy, correct? Correct, unless you know how it feels Like the strings are being pulled and tangled The thoughts morph themselves into these contraptions These beasts that you only can tame sometimes Sometimes Where you think about these thoughts These odd thoughts These uncharacteristic thoughts And you know that you would never do such a thing Never think of such a thing These thoughts are ridiculous You know they're ridiculous But here you are Beating yourself up for even thinking such a thought Even though the thought isn't yours You know it isn't yours "But whose thought is it then? Are there more than one of me in my head? Where do these thoughts come from? Why am I even asking these questions? Do I even need to ask these questions? Should I stop asking these questions? If I ask these questions will everything be okay?" Thinkthinkthinkthinkthink Thinkthinkthinkthink Thinkthinkthink Thinkthink Think Stop Restart Like a siege A constant siege Tidal waves in and out The thoughts leave And the thoughts come racing back Oh sanity where art thou The feeling of abandonment Drowning underneath They wouldn't last ten minutes Ten seconds The skeptics and doubters They don't understand They probably never will It's like waltzing through a minefield But I fight back We fight back Sufferers become silent warriors Fighting in silent wars Constantly fighting Constantly winning Constantly losing Climbing out of holes Falling through trapdoors "Maybe something will happen today? Maybe something will happen today? Did the house explode? Was I in a car wreck? I hope I wasn't in a car wreck What if I'm in a car wreck? What if I die in a car wreck? What if I die today? Maybe I'll die today?" (This is all before lunch) Thinkaboutit Thinkaboutit Thinkthinkthink Thinkthink Think Stop Restart In times of trouble Please tell yourself "I know who I am And I am not these thoughts The war goes on and on and on On and on and on And I will never let it stop Because if I do I lose No thank you Not today Not tomorrow Never" [comments] => 3 [counter] => 174 [topic] => 65 [informant] => IamM [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => toughstuff )
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