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Array
(
[sid] => 177266
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Little Green Monster
[time] => 2013-12-04 22:40:48
[hometext] => How jealously destroys people
[bodytext] => im so jealous of you they say you are truly perfect in every way i wish i was you so strong beautiful and brave you stir up the little green monster in me envy, bright as the emerald city love finds you with ease life shall truly be a calm happy breeze these are the things girls say to me i love you so much forever togther we will be your beauty is like the sun and i cant live without thee these are the things boys say to me but then the dawn sneaks into my eyes to bring me back to my real life of lies no one is jealous of me or of my false beauty no breezes assist me, only harsh winds destroy me instead it is me who brings forth from the gates of hell that green creature who believes peers are much better than thee everyday my eyes burn as they see at least 10 girls whos irses sparkle and gleam, unlike me and around the corner my feet manage to drag, only to see 20 girls who have loving lads i tell myself deep in my core, one day that will be you being adored but as soon as this thought travels its course acting as a devilish phoenix, that monster rises and reminds me that no boy has ever or will ever love me, what a suprise everyday that troll makes me ask why am i not as pretty, skinny, or smart as them as my disgusting eyes stare at my mishappen face in the mirror a salt sea begins to take my cheeks place everyday i see girls so much better than me their beauty cuts deep like knives but the worst is not wielded by a cruel witch but instead from the handle held by my closest ally this makes the pain seep through even more until it reaches through and satturates my core when we were young, it was all the same we just laughed and played together we were caterpillars, exploring the world not a care dared to haunt us but a butterfly became her and me a worm there was no compare she was perfect, and everyone agreed, and i was just there i thought my dreams only haunted me at night but they had now taken flight my eyes wide open, my mind aware i began to hear that menicing flare im so jealous of you they say you are truly perfect in every way i wish i was you so strong beautiful and brave you stir up the little green monster in me envy, bright as the emerald city love finds you with ease life shall truly be a calm happy breeze i love you so much forever togther we will be your beauty is like the sun and i cant live without thee these are the things they say but not to me who is just there but rather to her who to me no one would ever compare so as i watch her life climb the stairway to heaven mine has taken the highway to hell and as for my guide why who else but that moss colored dwell the little green monster who lives inside me i battle him each night but it is to no delight i hold on to hope, that one day hell be gone i can be happy with who i am and be thankful for all but my heart aches as it truly knows the time when he will finally disappears will be when he has compelty picked my soul clean and when there is nothing left of me he will move on to the next girl, and make her know all her happiness, confidence, and dreams are about to recieve a crushing blow [comments] => 1 [counter] => 102 [topic] => 61 [informant] => Annie2 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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