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Array
(
[sid] => 179954
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Quick Fix
[time] => 2014-12-06 16:43:48
[hometext] => An ode to late night infomercials or I wouldn't know how to fix all the things I didn't know were wrong with me!
[bodytext] => Your beauty is fading, your hair's turning gray, Your clothes are too tight, your waist's gone astray. If you don't like what you see in the mirror, Just go online find yourself a quick cure. Swimsuit season's coming and God forbid, The muffin top you're sporting just can't be hid, Don't like the gym, allergic to sweat, Just order up some Green Coffee Extract, Or maybe a trial of Garcinia Cambogia, Guarenteed to melt what's causing your phobia. If popping a pill just isn't organic, There's a whole host of fitness fanatics, To tell you what diet or workout to buy, All it takes is a credit card, You'll be slim in no time. Creases, furrows, crow's feet and the like, Wrinkles are surely no woman's delight, Lips looking puckered, smile's gone on strike, All this is easy to quickly put right. Just call that French doctor and ask for his lotion, I've heard it's concocted from a rare melon potion. Gray hair's acceptable to a middle-aged man, They call it distinguished, ask a Dos Equis fan. For women it's different when silver strands appear, Out they do pluck them without any fear. In the interest of saving the hair you have left, To the web in a hurry, boxed colour you must get. If when all's said and done and you've tried my advice, The reflection you see still just isn't right The one last suggestion I have to relay, Is that mirror hit the trash without further delay. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 160 [topic] => 7 [informant] => kmec1990 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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