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Array ( [sid] => 184191 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => My Last Day [time] => 2017-05-22 16:36:20 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Every night I rise
every morning I go to sleep
a sludge kicker in a burning confusion
smoking resins that make my lungs bleed

walking shadows mimic lost love
always fooling me
I am a water based earthling
never a guardian of the galaxy

somewhat damaged
there can be no doubt
lost my faith in everything
time is running out
in slow motion
it is like a bad dream

breaking through the surface to breathe
I can see
the insanity of the matrix is deep
my lust for life is fading
I feel it fall from me

doing what I am doing
feeling out of place
coming to the conclusion
I only have my self to blame
so I sit alone and manically sway

I came back haunted the last time I died
cracked and fractured
I keep hearing someone screaming
but my damage is so deep
I never realized it was me

[comments] => 6 [counter] => 174 [topic] => 61 [informant] => unknown_utopia [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

My Last Day

Contributed by unknown_utopia on Monday, 22nd May 2017 @ 04:36:20 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

Every night I rise
every morning I go to sleep
a sludge kicker in a burning confusion
smoking resins that make my lungs bleed

walking shadows mimic lost love
always fooling me
I am a water based earthling
never a guardian of the galaxy

somewhat damaged
there can be no doubt
lost my faith in everything
time is running out
in slow motion
it is like a bad dream

breaking through the surface to breathe
I can see
the insanity of the matrix is deep
my lust for life is fading
I feel it fall from me

doing what I am doing
feeling out of place
coming to the conclusion
I only have my self to blame
so I sit alone and manically sway

I came back haunted the last time I died
cracked and fractured
I keep hearing someone screaming
but my damage is so deep
I never realized it was me

Copyright © unknown_utopia ... [ 2017-05-22 16:36:20]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: My Last Day (User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on Tuesday, 23rd May 2017 @ 10:32:49 AM AEST
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Awesome poem indeed.
I suspect like me you just write what comes. But if not, watch someone else fighting to survive physical disabilities. The worries of the mind can easily be cured if you care to do so. Sometimes we need hardships to realize how lucky we are. Of course I am just throwing out my personal observations and as noted this poem was awesome no matter the reasoning behind it!

Re: My Last Day (User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on Thursday, 25th May 2017 @ 08:19:45 PM AEST
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This is touching, rather sad, and disturbing.
Somewhat like watching a friend sink in quicksand slowly.
There is help if you seek it, Do so while you still believe you are worthy.
Perhaps you can do for yourself what you would absolutely do for a stranger-- help to rescue them.
My favorite line is I KEPT HEARING SOMEONE SCREAMING --I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ME.
You have work to do; and it is time to begin.
softerware

Re: My Last Day (User Rating: 1 )
by alicewhite on Friday, 26th May 2017 @ 10:27:06 AM AEST
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Amazing write , you say it better than me x

Re: My Last Day (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 27th May 2017 @ 03:11:32 AM AEST
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I think I want to be alive
wished I lived upon the sunset
in a hazed serotonin slow

wished I had

remembered who - all those who
left made life

you know I hear about this all the time
as though too many good people
are medicating themselves
too often

And some of them aren/'/t that lucky
but it becomes hard to say
almost impossible to state
yourself

it is not any kind of joke
to know

And you read and write a lot of poetry
UU, and so the persona is living within
the words to be studied closely

to be understood

Peace!

Re: My Last Day (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Sunday, 25th February 2018 @ 06:11:27 AM AEST
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I could never put this together nonthing like you but great writing you;ve coveed these feelings well.

Bigest huggs,
ever.
emy

Re: My Last Day (User Rating: 1 )
by pooja on Monday, 28th May 2018 @ 09:55:17 AM AEST
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Beautiful. But its sad and heart breaking. I hope writing this has brought some sort of cathartic relief to you. I pray that you draw in your inner strength and find reasons to be strong, to be hopeful. Keep writing and never give up hope. Peace to you.

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