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Wither Away
Contributed by
jacquelynne
on
Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 09:49:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
A single pink rose stood
a survivor from what killed all the red roses
the fragile red roses-
and the strong pink rose
like our love
when all other loves failed
ours stood strong
proving the test of time
But a gentle rain
dripped through the night
a sweet, simple, harmless rain
and when I went to gaze at my rose,
all that stood was the stem
covered with thorns and leaves
On the ground lay the pink-
the soft, feathery, pink petals
they had fallen
But yet one small petal was still attached
I gently touched it
only to have it fall,
to join the others on the dirty, muddy ground
How sad that the gentle rain
can make the petals drop
How strong the rose had been
but how fragile it had become
how strong love can be
but also, very fragile
I sadly gathered the petals-
the memories-
of what had once been
so beautiful
without the stem
the petals will wither away
into little brown nothings
Just as past loves
get pushed back
deep into my mind
only to eventually
wither away
Copyright ©
jacquelynne
... [
2003-10-09 09:49:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Wither Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by norm on
Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 10:02:12 AM AEST
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Your poem is charming..
--------------------------------------
A past love may be
In the back of your mind,
Sometime the withering
Is not of that kind.
And all your life thru
It will haunt you for sure,
This love that you stomped
To be more secure.
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Re: Wither Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by sugarboy on
Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 11:24:42 AM AEST
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| You have a great metaphor sustained thoughout this poem...and I like the gently melancholy mood and how the story develops from beginning to end. |
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Re: Wither Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 12:54:44 PM AEST
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| ooooh i love this, hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Wither Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 04:06:48 PM AEST
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Great write..I love the analogy here..
Jenni |
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Re: Wither Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by SinfullyTwisted on
Friday, 10th October 2003 @ 04:55:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Oh, very nice. :) I liked it. Keep it up. |
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