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jealous whore
Contributed by
ml03
on
Wednesday, 29th October 2003 @ 03:51:39 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
roll ur eyes
and see if i care
say it all
behind my back
like i care
step to me
and see who
will be knocked
out
cause
i ain't gonna
back done
cause
you ain't gonna
step it up
just a jealous freak
loser
if you got something
to say
say it to my face
or shut up
so
ur man
want me
wonder why
why he ever got
wit you
i am
so beautiful
your competition
jealous
and so
you say
i'm whore
and a lush
sorry
but thats you
plain and simple
just a jealous whore
who can't get none
Copyright ©
ml03
... [
2003-10-29 15:51:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: jealous whore
(User Rating: 1 )
by Trisha on
Wednesday, 29th October 2003 @ 04:50:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I really do like this |
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Re: jealous whore
(User Rating: 1 )
by Serendippitty on
Wednesday, 29th October 2003 @ 10:34:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Great stuff... love this!!!... alot!!!
~*sErEnDiPPiTTy*~ |
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Re: jealous whore
(User Rating: 1 )
by krismisevski on
Wednesday, 29th October 2003 @ 11:16:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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good beginning. emotional in the 1st two stanzas, then it gets too wordy and loses it for me. it's just banter. I would lose the slang and write it proper. it can still have the sharp 'SLAP'! You've got the makings of a good poem, needs some editing though. I like the cockininess. keep that.
-Kris |
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