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Array ( [sid] => 26375 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Thou Art But Only a Turkey [time] => 2003-11-03 19:47:37 [hometext] => I wrote this for an English extra credit project, and I have an innate hate for Shakespeare :) [bodytext] => There once existed in the land of yore
A poet and playwright, what a bore!
Stratford on Avon was the place of his birth
Somehow he managed to bring the Queen of England great mirth!

Shakespeare was his name, a coward was he
At the sight of danger he would always get up and flee
Or if not given the chance, he would slowly bow his head
Rock back and forth until he fainted dead

In his youth, he was an actor for sure
He trained others and sissies they were
They built a theatre, The Globe it was called
He contributed much, but still they wanted him imprisoned and mauled

But still there were those turkeys, that felt quite a hurt
When they saw their cousins bones buried in dirt
The Theatre's crew had butchered their kin
And distributed them amongst the crowd with a clam'rous din

So the Turkey kind gathered by the mons'trous pile of dung
And spoke words only understood by those of their tongue
"Soon they'll kill all of our blood
It smells like crap, let's just bury 'em in mud!"

They were unanimous, all 'cept this one
An old codger was he, and wanted some fun
"Let's play with his mind, and break him through
Now to think exactly what we should do...."

They thought and they thought until their gobbles drooped
"This Shakespeare guy, ya know, he must be duped"
So they thought of this plan, and oh was it great
Their lust for revenge, surely it would satiate

To put this plan in action, they conceived a notion
They sent a boy to the apothecary to grab an unlikely potion
It took some skilll for this drug to be used
But in the end, all the turkeys were quite amused

They put some in the food which Shakespeare's crew was to eat
Pretty soon they couldn't tell their hands from their feet
But each one knew the show had to go on
And the turkeys chuckled in their roosts upon the lawn

The crowd, to their amazement, was quite pleased
And Shakespeare was wholeheartedly appeased
Comedy had its roots, and in that moment was born
And Shakespeare was hard at work the next morn

The turkeys were utterly dismayed
For their plan had been horribly waylayed
They grew angry and sharpened their beaks
The time had been coming, they knew, for many weeks

So they pranced into his bedroom and created quite a stir
These turkeys were furious, my god they were
They found Sheakespeare asleep on his bed
And they pecked him to death, now he lay dead

The next morn not much of ol' Willy was left
His crew all felt greatly bereft
But when they found out his death was by beak
The turkeys never saw the sun the following week! [comments] => 1 [counter] => 148 [topic] => 7 [informant] => RealmX [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
Thou Art But Only a Turkey

Contributed by RealmX on Monday, 3rd November 2003 @ 07:47:37 PM in AEST
Topic: HumorPoetry



There once existed in the land of yore
A poet and playwright, what a bore!
Stratford on Avon was the place of his birth
Somehow he managed to bring the Queen of England great mirth!

Shakespeare was his name, a coward was he
At the sight of danger he would always get up and flee
Or if not given the chance, he would slowly bow his head
Rock back and forth until he fainted dead

In his youth, he was an actor for sure
He trained others and sissies they were
They built a theatre, The Globe it was called
He contributed much, but still they wanted him imprisoned and mauled

But still there were those turkeys, that felt quite a hurt
When they saw their cousins bones buried in dirt
The Theatre's crew had butchered their kin
And distributed them amongst the crowd with a clam'rous din

So the Turkey kind gathered by the mons'trous pile of dung
And spoke words only understood by those of their tongue
"Soon they'll kill all of our blood
It smells like crap, let's just bury 'em in mud!"

They were unanimous, all 'cept this one
An old codger was he, and wanted some fun
"Let's play with his mind, and break him through
Now to think exactly what we should do...."

They thought and they thought until their gobbles drooped
"This Shakespeare guy, ya know, he must be duped"
So they thought of this plan, and oh was it great
Their lust for revenge, surely it would satiate

To put this plan in action, they conceived a notion
They sent a boy to the apothecary to grab an unlikely potion
It took some skilll for this drug to be used
But in the end, all the turkeys were quite amused

They put some in the food which Shakespeare's crew was to eat
Pretty soon they couldn't tell their hands from their feet
But each one knew the show had to go on
And the turkeys chuckled in their roosts upon the lawn

The crowd, to their amazement, was quite pleased
And Shakespeare was wholeheartedly appeased
Comedy had its roots, and in that moment was born
And Shakespeare was hard at work the next morn

The turkeys were utterly dismayed
For their plan had been horribly waylayed
They grew angry and sharpened their beaks
The time had been coming, they knew, for many weeks

So they pranced into his bedroom and created quite a stir
These turkeys were furious, my god they were
They found Sheakespeare asleep on his bed
And they pecked him to death, now he lay dead

The next morn not much of ol' Willy was left
His crew all felt greatly bereft
But when they found out his death was by beak
The turkeys never saw the sun the following week!




Copyright © RealmX ... [ 2003-11-03 19:47:37]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Thou Art But Only a Turkey (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Monday, 3rd November 2003 @ 07:57:33 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I never could stand it either but this write is awesome!
2 thumbs up!
u should have gotten highest score on this one1
Great work of art!
peace, joy, luv,
emy




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