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Array
(
[sid] => 27047
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Cold and Bored with Insanity
[time] => 2003-11-13 23:11:40
[hometext] => This poem is about what's going on in my mind, what went wrong?
[bodytext] => Cold and Bored With Insanity Empty soul Full alertness Empty holes Full conscience Empty heart Full gap Empty, apart Full of crap We build up to the point When wee need to explode Walking around carrying a full load Chanting the same mantra In my head for years Words to calm me, to tame fears Hold tears, dull shears Over and over and over again By the end of the day I can’t remember what made me begin Every night before I lay me down to sleep I pray to God tomorrow’s mine to keep But the sun will set, I will lose my bet I’d be a poor girl on a cold hill Watching people below me get grilled Before I learned and accepted That my life’s intercepted I never dreamed of this for me Cold and bored with insanity. As a child I wanted to be happy Everything was pretty, everything was there. I never thought I’d be alone in a zone When I’d cry on the phone Listening to dial tone Because I can’t hear a thing but a moan As children we are naive and pure What happens when we change views And stop hoping for a cure? When we pay attention to news and cues, Rather than our hearts and souls. I’m tired of stepping into deeper and deeper holes Don’t you see There’s nothing here for me But a person I can’t be And everybody’s pity Every time you look at me Talk to me, think of me I’m returning to safety I’m locking up my free Waves of pain, of hate Of tears and a quiet state Changing as the moon From full to half Tears now, smiles soon All it takes is a look or a laugh You’re okay, walk, breathe, walk My mantra, my head My need to be dead, be led And my wish to unlock Let free, fly high, and see me. Please... I never dreamed this for me A routine of pain so common I’m cold and bored with insanity. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 148 [topic] => 48 [informant] => Calista [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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