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Array
(
[sid] => 31649
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => End
[time] => 2004-01-14 11:38:30
[hometext] => It, just hurts that sometimes I have to imagine, what It would be like for life to peaceful, which is only obtained when you die. I just want to be alone forever, so I wont trap anyone in my guilt and pain...
[bodytext] => Its hard to explain the way I feel, I'm feeling so numb to everything, Nothing at all seems real, So empty, as if encased my tin, It scares me to be like this, It hurts me to live this *****, Its child abuse to let me live, Its sad I cant forgive, But why should I even bother, I cant even tell my mother, I cant take it, Just wanna cry, Wanna be alone while I die, Crawl under the porch, Alone without a torch, And listen to the crickets cry, While face down and dead I lie The dreams where I'm dying, Are the best I ever had, That Joy keeps me crying, I know its kinda sad, But life just hurts me too much, I need to Leave before I get out of touch, I want to do the world's most selfish act, I want to die, and thats just a fact, Because everything I see, Everything that makes me cry, Everything thats me, Just makes me want to die And even these old memories, Still as real as the Incendiaries, Surrounding me by my stake, Make me wish memories were fake, Because I remember, even the taste, It hurts me, mentally and physically i'm in pain, And they haunt me, again and again, They just make me hate myself, even more, The memories of me, that little whore, I did things that I cant ever forget, I remember things that make me upset, And if thats really worth me living, To keep on forgiving, All the people who hurt me, All the people who cant see, All this pressure is crushing, These tears are hurting, I'm sorry... [comments] => 4 [counter] => 176 [topic] => 36 [informant] => alecfernadez [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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