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Array
(
[sid] => 32628
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Understand
[time] => 2004-01-24 22:58:02
[hometext] => This means a lot to me, it took me a long time to get out right
[bodytext] => Your teardrops fall in pain. Your heart is broken again. Footsteps falling, voices calling. They just don't seem to understand. She hears her daughter crying. She stands silently trying vainly to hear, (she's) full of fear. She tries her best to understand. You're reduced to silent dreaming. You can't see the point to all the screaming. Candlelight dimming, teardrops shimmering. You're hoping for someone to understand. She walks painfully up the steep stairs, upon her shoulders her daughter's cares. Elusive peace knows no release. She's wishing she could understand. You're tired of staggering through every day. You can't seem to see any other way. The music's playing, the mind not straying. You're sure no one understands. She watches it happen but doesn't know. She wants to help but it doesn't show. Feeling everything, doing nothing. She wants to try to understand. You write the people letters and say all your secret goodbyes. You choose the song and make your opportunity with lies. It's not so complicated, you just got so frustrated. You hope they'll understand. She approaches her daughter after thinking what to say. Her daughter answers with a smile, neatly pushing her away. She's so confused and lost, she never guessed the cost. She was just desperately trying to understand. You turn on the music, alone in the house this night. You choose the clothes, wondering why you don't feel quite right. Thoughtful, silent, and sad. Convince yourself it's not so bad. You've forgotten to care who understands. She's out with her husband on a dinner date. She promises herself she won't be out late. Starting to relax, to let go. What's happening at home, she couldn't know. She's not wondering if she understands. You sit upon the floor and let your memories float past. Your tears streak down, you think 'at least your memories might last'. Unlock the pain inside. You won't hide. You finally don't need them to understand. She whirls around the dance floor, filled with ignorant peace. She finally knows the meaning of joyful release. Floating so light, what could not be right? She hopes you understand. You look at your bare arms, the already damaged wrist. You drag it so deep across, to you it's like being kissed. Out flows the crimson stain, the emotional made physical pain. You pray they'll understand. She rests her weary feet, and enjoys the love in her heart. She trusts hope to prevent her family falling apart. She thinks its all so clear. She isn't feeling any fear. She's ready to understand. You hurt more than you imagined, but you can't back out now. You remember your promises, and regret breaking a vow. Your clarity begins to fade, and you regret this decision you've made. You finally realize it was you who didn't understand. She's longing for proof you're home safe and sound. She walks to the car on the frozen ground. She promises to be strong, even admit she was wrong. She can't wait to proove she understands. You hold the teddy bear close despite the blood, depsite the pain. Your thoughts slow, you know it'd be different if you did it all again. Everything around you is stained red, and you know it's too late and you will be dead. You wish you'd all understand. She's uneasy driving down the road, thinking only of you. She's worried for some reason and wants only to hold you. The house looms ahead, her coat is shed. She walks downstairs thinking she understands. You lie back and watch mesmorized as the blood pours upon your floor. You're fading as you hear a sound, you see your mother at the door. She wraps her arms around you, holds you close despite the blood. She's screaming, you can't hear. She's loving, crying tears to increase the flood. You try to stay, but you're pulled away. She understood and can't let go, but you would never know. You never tried to understand or be understood. She did her best but you threw it in her face. You never knew she would hold you till your blood stopped flowing. You never realized her love for you never stopped growing. You broke her heart, you tore your family apart. You couldn't have been able to understand. She cried all through your funeral, for days after that was her only sound. She was the first and last to drop dirt upon your coffin lowered into the ground. She loved you. She only wanted your love too. And now she'll never understand. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 327 [topic] => 36 [informant] => waos [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 45 [ratings] => 9 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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