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Array ( [sid] => 36381 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => OCD [time] => 2004-02-26 00:39:55 [hometext] => Not really sure what topic this is so... A day in my life. I appreciate all comments [bodytext] => In the morning
I try and get dressed
I do it three times
And it feels like a test

If I mess up
I start again
I'll get through it
I just don't know when

My hands are red
They crack and bleed
The demon in my mind
I continue to feed

Ever stood in a bathroom
Washed your hands for an hour
Just to be sure you're clean
You continue to scour

It says it's dirty
Says it's not clean
Covered with germs
No one's ever seen

Everything exact
Perfectly lined up
From the bed and the couch
To every single cup

I walked through the door
But it didn't feel right
Turn around and try again
The demon too strong to fight

The dishes look clean
But how can you know
Wash them again and again
Until it feels "just so"

Take three showers
Wash three times
Make sure to scub off
Each little enzyme

I live with this monster
Every single day
And greet each morning
With fear and dismay [comments] => 4 [counter] => 265 [topic] => 43 [informant] => JadedExistence [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

OCD

Contributed by JadedExistence on Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 12:39:55 AM in AEST
Topic: oops

In the morning
I try and get dressed
I do it three times
And it feels like a test

If I mess up
I start again
I'll get through it
I just don't know when

My hands are red
They crack and bleed
The demon in my mind
I continue to feed

Ever stood in a bathroom
Washed your hands for an hour
Just to be sure you're clean
You continue to scour

It says it's dirty
Says it's not clean
Covered with germs
No one's ever seen

Everything exact
Perfectly lined up
From the bed and the couch
To every single cup

I walked through the door
But it didn't feel right
Turn around and try again
The demon too strong to fight

The dishes look clean
But how can you know
Wash them again and again
Until it feels "just so"

Take three showers
Wash three times
Make sure to scub off
Each little enzyme

I live with this monster
Every single day
And greet each morning
With fear and dismay

Copyright © JadedExistence ... [ 2004-02-26 00:39:55]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: OCD (User Rating: 1 )
by PumpkinPie on Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 01:14:23 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I've heard about OCD through tv and magazines,and it doesn't seem like something easy to live with.Does this just start suddenly or do you work up to become like this?As I've told others before,God gives you only what you can handle..I'm epileptic and every day I fear a seizure but I've learned to love myself.It might not be the same but place it all in God's hands and everything will turn out alright.Nice write,
PumpkinPie

Re: OCD (User Rating: 1 )
by JadedExistence on Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 01:37:44 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I think it is different for everyone but for most people it starts out with small things and just gets worse. My parents said I have been obsessive-compulsive my whole life, I've always had to have things "just so". In the last 5 or 6 months I have gotten a lot worse, I shower 2 to 3 times a day and get dressed and undressed 3 times (in a certain order or I have to start over) and I have a number fixation. When I wash my hands I count to 13 3 times while soaping and I do this 3 times. I never step on the second stair from the bottom etc...(if I accidentaly step on that stair I have to go to the top and do it right and that is not easy in the stairwell of a high school with like a million other people). Sometimes the symptoms can change and I have good days and bad. At the moment I can barely bend my fingers because my hands are so cracked it hurts too much. Whew I didn't mean for this to get so long, sorry. Anyways, thanks for your comments.
-JadedExistence

Re: OCD (User Rating: 1 )
by PumpkinPie on Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 01:54:10 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Wow that's really something !But the fact that you do know there is a problem,can that help you overcome it?I wish you the best and will pray for you.God bless,
PumpkinPie

Re: OCD (User Rating: 1 )
by JadedExistence on Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 10:20:54 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Knowing there is a problem always helps, not only because I am able to go see someone about it but now I know why I do it and it is a bit easier to deal with.
-JadedExistence

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