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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 02-June 11:04:02 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 36906
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => what a life (my hell on earth)
[time] => 2004-03-01 11:09:29
[hometext] => WE DONT GET TO PICK THE FAMILY WE ARE BORN TO....SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO SPEND OUR TIME SURVIVING OUR LIFE MORE THAN LIVING IT...YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT OR YOU CAN GO CRAZY...I CHOSE TO GET THROUGH IT..AND I DID..WITH GODS GUIDENCE..IM HERE
[bodytext] => born to a father who loved me so was he my biological i really don't know but i do know he was there from the beginning with love and i thank my heavenly father up above everywhere he went i was there to my daddy loved me is all i knew. now my mother well she was quite the opposite i can say she never liked me from the first day she always cursed me and hit me for no reason at all,. for some reason when it came to loving me she had built a wall she never hit me when my dad was around she only glared and didn't make a sound but no soon than he left out the door i already knew that my punishment was coming, but what could i do she was always calling me names hoping id get mad and yell back but before i knew what hit me SMACK right up side my head those were some of the times i would of rather been dead a **** wasted is what she said to me my very own mother hated me. what could i say when she waited for a reaction she had hurt me with words and that was her satisfaction she would call me names and tell the boys to join in to they all laughed an made fun of me what could i do but walk and hold my head down low and beg and plead for the tears not to flow because that's what she wanted to see me cry she ejoyed my pain and thats no lie i would cry so hard it i would have trouble catching my breath i wonder how often she wished for my death we had to stand in the yard and we couldn't run while she threw small tomatoes at us just for fun. it was humiliating and i hated her for how she made me feel having her for a mother was not a good deal. i would have to stand at the top of the stairs and not run while she threw glass whatnots at me for fun the particles broke and glass often shattered at me feet seeing my cry made her mission complete she would be hitting me in the head with a brush or hands all i could do was wonder what was in her plans i tried to stay out of her site and hopefully out of mind but when ever she got mad it was me she'd come and find what about my brothers i wondered why don't she hit them to i was tired of being hit on and cursed out but what could i do she was my mother and know one knew the hell that she was putting me through except one woman who kinda knew but never got to see how my mother treated me till one day she was hitting me and i couldn't breath i was crying so hard she took me to this woman who said "oh lord" you gonna kill this girl if you don't stop beating her so much to me this woman had the magic touch she would come and get me and i loved her so even more than she could know i truly believed with out here i don't know where i would be because of her i have my sanity the beatings went on but not like they were before i had someone who loved me and i was always welcome at her door she gave me a little more courage to not be so afraid but i still stayed clear of my mothers tirades having people laugh at me is what she loved to do but no more tears would come through i was tired of crying and being afraid to just say why are you always treating me this way those words i never had courage enough to say words i never uttered even to this day she took me to different relatives i would stay here or there for a price i could stay anywhere i hated some of the places she would make me stay it was my life and i never got a say no one ever asked my opinion on anything concerning me most didn't want me around and that wasn't hard to see but as long as the money was coming i was there and after a while i started not to care no one listened to me anyway, i was just a kid in the way but i was getting older and finding my voice to speak but my courage as far as my mother went was still very weak between the woman who helped me and my sister, i knew eventually there would be nothing she could do she left for a year coming every once in awhile to stay but i loved the fact that she had went away no yelling and screaming no hitting, i was free for the time being i could be me but eventually she came home and was nicer i can say but the fact that she hated me didn't go away she didn't hit me anymore and that part seemed over at last so i started having a few friends an that was a blast. one night i came home, she was waiting for me with a belt and the boys in tow, and started hitting me but nothing live befo she told the boys to laugh at me and that let me know that she was putting on yet another show and as much as i hated it the tears started to flow and those would be that last that's what she didn't know it wasn't becos she was hitting me, that didnt hurt at all it was looking up and seeing the brothers laughing aganist the wall thats what hurt me most of all [comments] => 1 [counter] => 309 [topic] => 21 [informant] => desire [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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