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Array ( [sid] => 36997 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Sometimes... [time] => 2004-03-02 00:43:15 [hometext] => Take it with a pinch of salt. [bodytext] => I saw you standing there
so beautiful it stole my breath.
Entranced by you wholly.
I could feel your pain
in every written word.
So shy to the touch.
So open to emotion.
So sweet and caring
yet a dark cloud hung
over you sweet head.
I'm told I can't save
the world but I
sure can try to.
I would have given
all that I could have
just to put a smile on
your pretty face.
Sometimes I wish I
could have understood you.
The lights are out though
and this house is so cold.
So far away from where
we used to be together.
It only snows here now
and it's so far from where
I want to be.
I'm sorry.
I miss you.
Goodbye.

Raven's Sin [comments] => 11 [counter] => 320 [topic] => 43 [informant] => Cobalt [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Sometimes...

Contributed by Cobalt on Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 12:43:15 AM in AEST
Topic: oops

I saw you standing there
so beautiful it stole my breath.
Entranced by you wholly.
I could feel your pain
in every written word.
So shy to the touch.
So open to emotion.
So sweet and caring
yet a dark cloud hung
over you sweet head.
I'm told I can't save
the world but I
sure can try to.
I would have given
all that I could have
just to put a smile on
your pretty face.
Sometimes I wish I
could have understood you.
The lights are out though
and this house is so cold.
So far away from where
we used to be together.
It only snows here now
and it's so far from where
I want to be.
I'm sorry.
I miss you.
Goodbye.

Raven's Sin

Copyright © Cobalt ... [ 2004-03-02 00:43:15]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Sometimes... (User Rating: 1 )
by arden on Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 12:47:26 AM AEST
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thats sad :( but i really like how its written. awesome job.
Arden

Re: Sometimes... (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 12:48:39 AM AEST
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each word pulled me closer and closer this flowed its excellant !
michelle

Re: Sometimes... (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 01:44:16 AM AEST
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Sad but a masterpeice.
Great writing.
luv, huggs,
emy

Re: Sometimes... (User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 08:45:33 AM AEST
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aww.. beautiful write Jeff!

Re: Sometimes... (User Rating: 1 )
by markie on Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 09:27:06 AM AEST
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beautiful. wish I could write like you...salt, pepper...cayenne; It's wonderful.

Re: Sometimes... (User Rating: 1 )
by Jolly on Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 09:38:22 AM AEST
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If only I had your talent...this is awsome. made me cry.
probably just menopause....lol. Talent like yours is a rare gift...I've been around many years, seen a lot of writing and I know. Thanks for this.

Re: Sometimes... (User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 01:13:57 PM AEST
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Really well written. You definitely have a gift with words.
Take care.
David

Re: Sometimes... (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 09:45:18 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Wow Jeff....what's all this??
Hope all is well with you.... You need to whistle some..*wink*
Jenni

Re: Sometimes... (User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 10:53:20 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Omg I could cry... this is like, something someone could write about me if only they looked hard enough to see me and actually gave a damn. Amazing write, it's absolutely beautiful.

~ Moonlit

Re: Sometimes... (User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygodslove on Friday, 5th March 2004 @ 05:19:02 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

awee.. another good write.. you got a talent of writing from your heart.. sandy

Re: Sometimes... (User Rating: 1 )
by Lia on Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 05:00:15 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Eerily I can relate to this...very nice poem

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