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Array
(
[sid] => 37263
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Unfaithful
[time] => 2004-03-03 23:59:04
[hometext] => This is something I wrote after I found out my boyfriend cheated on me again.
[bodytext] => Wading into the water searching for the courage to drown, Tired of wearing this smile, always ending up the clown. Wondering how much more of this hell I can stand, Waiting for a day I can let go of a man Who's never been true, in mind, body, or soul But holds my heart's keys and has all of the control. Who can be so loving and amazing at times And then, out of nowhere, turn on a dime Into someone I look at but don't even know Saying such hurtful things, how easily they flow. Yet I know him better than I know myself Like my favorite book I keep on my shelf Cover to cover, read a hundred times over Dog-eared corners, I turn the pages slower. Searching and searching for details I've missed To make the ending better. Oh, how I wish I'd read it this slowly when I'd first picked it up. Would the outcome be different? Again, I'm stumped. No less a threat than a gun in his hand- Playing with my life, my future, this man Who swore this would happen never again. But here I sit, again my hand holds the pen. Pouring my heart out on paper hoping the ink will soon dry, Writing down my own story as I begin to cry. Realizing now what I refused to see back then- No matter how hard I've tried, it's still up to this man Who laid in my bed, swearing we never would part; My hand on his, and his hand on my heart. Amazing, the mind, how it plays tricks on itself! Making me believe I could keep that book on my shelf. -Stephanie Fields November '03 [comments] => 1 [counter] => 153 [topic] => 48 [informant] => steph74 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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