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Array ( [sid] => 38915 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => If Only He Would Listen [time] => 2004-03-16 17:59:55 [hometext] => It's about God, not some guy. [bodytext] => I fell asleep last night praying to a God I don’t even know is there.
I prayed for him to take away my pain, my sorrow.
I prayed for him to take away my anger, my hatred.
I prayed for him to take away my desire to die.
Why should I want to die? I only hate everything on this planet. I only wish to kill them all. I only wish to hear them scream, see them cry. I only want to laugh as their soul slowly dies and fades into itself.
I only wish to kill them all.
I prayed for him to save me, to make me drop the knife.
I prayed for him to crush my desire to watch myself bleed.
I prayed for him to help me.
All my prayers go unanswered.
He never hears me, or, does he just refuse to listen?
Maybe I’ll see him now as the knife buries itself into my stomach.

Maybe I’ll see him…
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 159 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Dereku [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

If Only He Would Listen

Contributed by Dereku on Tuesday, 16th March 2004 @ 05:59:55 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

I fell asleep last night praying to a God I don’t even know is there.
I prayed for him to take away my pain, my sorrow.
I prayed for him to take away my anger, my hatred.
I prayed for him to take away my desire to die.
Why should I want to die? I only hate everything on this planet. I only wish to kill them all. I only wish to hear them scream, see them cry. I only want to laugh as their soul slowly dies and fades into itself.
I only wish to kill them all.
I prayed for him to save me, to make me drop the knife.
I prayed for him to crush my desire to watch myself bleed.
I prayed for him to help me.
All my prayers go unanswered.
He never hears me, or, does he just refuse to listen?
Maybe I’ll see him now as the knife buries itself into my stomach.

Maybe I’ll see him…

Copyright Â© Dereku ... [ 2004-03-16 17:59:55]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: If Only He Would Listen (User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on Tuesday, 16th March 2004 @ 08:08:55 PM AEST
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I came very close to suicide more than once, and I asked myself the same things you are asking. Sometimes the answer God gives is no answer at all. We are not to understand our reasons. I do know that I am still alive, and now looking back, I know that God did sustain me through those very difficult times even though it didn't feel that way then. God has used my trials to help me to grow. I no longer ask God to change my circumstances or take away my pain. I now ask Him to give me the strength to witstand both. He never lets me down.
Stitch

Re: If Only He Would Listen (User Rating: 1 )
by Pompous on Wednesday, 17th March 2004 @ 08:04:30 AM AEST
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very dark poem...I haven't been close to suicide but I have thought about it a lot...I didn't really turn to God for strength or anything rather I depended on my friends and I guess in a way having good friends like the ones I have is a gift from God. i also sometimes think that God let's me down but he does work in mysterious ways hang in there
:::Neal:::

Re: If Only He Would Listen (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 03:19:55 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

are thee prayers answered?
forever are thee questioning
and never seeing
time is the greater being...

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