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Array ( [sid] => 40557 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Why Am Not I Dead? [time] => 2004-03-27 21:52:19 [hometext] => His words hurt me over and over...yet still I love him... [bodytext] => I've been waiting for you
To release my heart from your grasp
It doesn't seem right
That you don't love me
But still keep me loving you

You don't even want me
You just want to toy with my emtions
I've heard you say it
Straight to my face

Toyed with them you have
I'll never be the same
I remember you asking me just yesterday
"Seriously, why aren't you dead?"
Those words will remain in my mind
Everytime I cry at night
I'll hear the words you said

"You can't even kill yourself"
"Looks like you fail at everything"
Never have such cold words
Pierced my fragile heart

I don't get why you hate me
Nothing have I done to you
And yet you want me dead?

You taunted me to cut myself
"CUT CUT CUT" you said
But I stayed strong
And kept the knife away
Refusing to spill my own blood again
On account of you, you *******

I'm tired of your abuse
The way your words have brought me down
Reducing me
Believing everything you said

I still think I am ugly
Just as you told me I was
Still I think I am nothing
And never have I been
Just like you said to me

Countless poems
I have written
About the love I have for you
And about the things you've done
But last night all the things you said
Where just too much to handle
Every word you uttered
Went through me like a sword

You leave me
Bent and haggard
Simply trying to breathe again
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 200 [topic] => 13 [informant] => night_child [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
Why Am Not I Dead?

Contributed by night_child on Saturday, 27th March 2004 @ 09:52:19 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



I've been waiting for you
To release my heart from your grasp
It doesn't seem right
That you don't love me
But still keep me loving you

You don't even want me
You just want to toy with my emtions
I've heard you say it
Straight to my face

Toyed with them you have
I'll never be the same
I remember you asking me just yesterday
"Seriously, why aren't you dead?"
Those words will remain in my mind
Everytime I cry at night
I'll hear the words you said

"You can't even kill yourself"
"Looks like you fail at everything"
Never have such cold words
Pierced my fragile heart

I don't get why you hate me
Nothing have I done to you
And yet you want me dead?

You taunted me to cut myself
"CUT CUT CUT" you said
But I stayed strong
And kept the knife away
Refusing to spill my own blood again
On account of you, you *******

I'm tired of your abuse
The way your words have brought me down
Reducing me
Believing everything you said

I still think I am ugly
Just as you told me I was
Still I think I am nothing
And never have I been
Just like you said to me

Countless poems
I have written
About the love I have for you
And about the things you've done
But last night all the things you said
Where just too much to handle
Every word you uttered
Went through me like a sword

You leave me
Bent and haggard
Simply trying to breathe again




Copyright © night_child ... [ 2004-03-27 21:52:19]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Why Am Not I Dead? (User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on Saturday, 27th March 2004 @ 09:57:30 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
This is strong emotional abuse. Love should make you feel happy, cherished, treasured and wanted. You deserve so much better and it saddens me. Kie


Re: Why Am Not I Dead? (User Rating: 1 )
by Claire on Saturday, 27th March 2004 @ 11:18:08 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
You are not dead because you are an amazingly strong person. Not many people could deal with that, and nobody should. Run away, run away, run away. Share your gift of writing with someone who will appreciate it.




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