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Separation of a Shadowed Love
Contributed by
saphireskies
on
Wednesday, 31st March 2004 @ 07:04:32 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
I'm going away
Though you will still stay
My beatin road
My future of that I once owed
Now there is a blank screen
No shoulder in which to lean
I may never see you again
There are no other men
My body so sore; I feel of old age
Though my soul yurns for more, tis covered in rage
A billion tears to bring an ocean of saddness
A heart filled with pain, begging to stop this maddness
Can't I just stay?
Can't he stop pulling me away?
I'm to tired to breathe
Death at my leave
White, long stem roses upon my grave
Put me deep inside of a cave
The darkness is growing
My love is now showing
Copyright ©
saphireskies
... [
2004-03-31 19:04:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Separation of a Shadowed Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by lil_angel on
Wednesday, 31st March 2004 @ 07:25:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wonderful job! This is a wonderful peice! i really like this part
I'm to tired to breathe
Death at my leave
Good job! |
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Re: Separation of a Shadowed Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jellybellyprincess on
Wednesday, 31st March 2004 @ 07:57:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Best example I've seen yet of someone who uses a mix between flowery and practical language. I noticed it most in lines like "Though my soul yearns for more, tis covered with rage" as opposed to "Can't he stop pulling me away?" You've got a talent here in using words, whatever tey might be, and making them sound right together. Well done.
God bless,
Ellen |
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