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Array
(
[sid] => 41602
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Darkness
[time] => 2004-04-03 13:30:12
[hometext] => This is a poem I wrote when I was going through some rough times...
[bodytext] => Darkness closes in around me Smothers me with despair. I huddle in a ball Covering my head. The dark seems to laugh at me Seems to mock and ridicule me. It shouts at me, tells me I’m a fool I know it’s right. I can’t escape from all the hurt Can’t escape from all the pain. Too long I tried to hide from it Tried hiding from reality. Reality has found me Drawn me into its cruel nature. It forces on the anguish Tries to make me fall. Out of the despair I cry out Desperate for help. No one comes to help me I curl in a ball and sob. No one cares No one notices. They see what’s on the outside The pleasant smiling face. They have no idea what goes on inside They don’t see the dark. The shadows creep across my wall, across my bed No one notices. The wind wails and ferociously yells No one hears. The fire roars and smoke clouds my vision No one smells the smoke. The flame inside me that should be burning is slowly fading Slowly dying. I fear the day when it flickers out I fear it will come too soon. Everyone and everything around me is changing But not changing for the good. I reach and reach, desperate for a hand to help me up But no one comes, no one reaches, no one takes it seriously. I cower in those shadows My fear is overwhelming. I stand in that wind Screaming and knowing no one will hear me. I feel that fire Slowly burning my skin away, charring to the bone. The scars had once hidden themselves away But are now reappearing. Events have created more I’ve got more physical and mental scars than imaginable. I slide down the hill Sliding towards the sullen unlit pit at the bottom. I hopelessly try to scramble up the hill, my hands scraping to whatever I can find But each attempt slips me further. No one realizes, they’re too busy; life is full of hassles It doesn’t matter. The mournful wail of the wind beckons to me Wants me to surrender. I don’t want to surrender to the demon To the sinister voices of desperation. The dim light inside me wants to burn Wants to live on forever. But the light can’t breathe Can’t find oxygen. The darkness continues to conceal As the light continues to fade. Darkness is the only thing that seems to want me Seems to hold a place for me. I don’t seem to fit any other place Don’t seem to fit with other people. People say I’ve lost who I really am I think they are right. How can I find myself in the dark Find myself with no search light, no light at all? I tremble with terror as I come closer and closer to bottom Desperate for any help at all. I should be able to do it on my own But I’m not strong enough to pull myself up. I wish I were who I used to be But that person is long gone. That person got lost somewhere Somewhere between heartbreak and fights. Somewhere between cry after cry Insult after insult. That person didn’t want to hurt anymore Didn’t want anymore pain. But neither does this one And wants the old one back. The bleak outlook is all I have left I don’t even have a tear anymore. Even if I want to cry I can’t All my tears are gone. They’re all used up And it doesn’t get me anywhere. Holding back on what I really feel is the only option for me My anxieties got the better of me, and now the fear controls me. The darkness shuts in on me Creating a giant shield. It wants to take me Wants to devour me. Don’t let the darkness ensnare me Don’t let it win. I’m my only army My army is not strong enough. I want to fight back so bad But I’ve tried. I’ve tried all things imaginable They don’t work. My greatest fear is controlling me Taking me over. My greatest fear Darkness. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 152 [topic] => 61 [informant] => DarkAngel89 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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