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Array
(
[sid] => 41972
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Words: Chapter 1
[time] => 2004-04-06 01:26:26
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Does anyone else wonder why things end up the way they do? It’s like….when a decision needs to made….well….you want to hold on. It hurts to say it, but it comes from the heart….but no one else will ever know how you truly feel. Everyone lives and dies alone. So in reality, wouldn’t it make sense that no one else can feel your pain? Not that I am feeling pain….I’m not…but….don’t take this as a plead for sympathy. What good is that to anyone? People base their standards off of other people. Have you ever found yourself torturing your own heart? It is a twisted feeling that I cannot understand. Maybe it is just this college guy’s way of thinking and reacting, or maybe not. See, I left a relationship a few months ago. During the last two weeks of its existence, I was taking a pill called hydroxycut. After about five days, it made me very depressed because I was experiencing many things. Unconsciousness, irregular heart beat, high blood pressure, dizziness, changes in behavior, loss of sleep, tremors, nausea, headache, and nervousness were the side effects. I experienced every one of these except unconsciousness. I was a totally different individual. The staff that I work for thought that I started taking drugs and everyone stopped talking to me and was avoiding me. My parents still do not know that this happened. Even though they asked me many times if I “needed to talk” and what my problem was, I would snap and say that it was nothing and to leave me alone about it. No one wants to hurt anyone, but sometimes you just freak when you feel like everything is coming to an end. You grab for anything in your clutches…..and that is why I am where I am today. The reason that comes rushing into…..WAIT….you know, being friends with an ex-girlfriend of boyfriend is like your dog dying and your mother telling you that you can still keep it. Do you agree? If you would like for me to continue…and the story is half way intresting, please leave a comment for me. You never know what can be learned from a speck in your reality. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 172 [topic] => 21 [informant] => Red_Silo [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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