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Array ( [sid] => 43349 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => If Heaven Had a Phone [time] => 2004-04-15 10:47:32 [hometext] => i wrote this a couple of weeks after my mother commited suicide [bodytext] => if heaven had a phone
i'd call my mom right now,
to let her know i love her
and miss her all the time,
that i can never forget her,
and that shes apart of me.

i would tell her that im sorry,
but i cannot forgive her,
for leaving me alone,
giving up on life, on me.
haunted by the shadow of guilt
my mind is always cloudy.

i would tell her i can laugh
that i can be happy,
but never too long
before she enters my mind.

i would ask her if she remembered
holding me tight under the covers
singing softly in my ear,
and the coolness of the sheets
and comfort of the dark.

then i'd tell her it wasn't her fault
that life was cruel, it poisoned my heart,
and in turn hurt her too,
lengthening the distance between us.

finally i'd tell her
i need her and always have,
that i cannot forgive what she did,
but i cannot forget our life,
our memories filled with joy,
of love, of closeness.

and then i'd say good-bye
the most important words
words that were never said. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 331 [topic] => 39 [informant] => hurtingangel2291 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Grief )

If Heaven Had a Phone

Contributed by hurtingangel2291 on Thursday, 15th April 2004 @ 10:47:32 AM in AEST
Topic: Grief

if heaven had a phone
i'd call my mom right now,
to let her know i love her
and miss her all the time,
that i can never forget her,
and that shes apart of me.

i would tell her that im sorry,
but i cannot forgive her,
for leaving me alone,
giving up on life, on me.
haunted by the shadow of guilt
my mind is always cloudy.

i would tell her i can laugh
that i can be happy,
but never too long
before she enters my mind.

i would ask her if she remembered
holding me tight under the covers
singing softly in my ear,
and the coolness of the sheets
and comfort of the dark.

then i'd tell her it wasn't her fault
that life was cruel, it poisoned my heart,
and in turn hurt her too,
lengthening the distance between us.

finally i'd tell her
i need her and always have,
that i cannot forgive what she did,
but i cannot forget our life,
our memories filled with joy,
of love, of closeness.

and then i'd say good-bye
the most important words
words that were never said.

Copyright © hurtingangel2291 ... [ 2004-04-15 10:47:32]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: If Heaven Had a Phone (User Rating: 1 )
by Justalady on Thursday, 15th April 2004 @ 11:39:09 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

With a tear I say... I'm so sorry for the both of you. Tragic though it is... that phone line is your memory of her and heaven never charges for long distance. My heart goes out to you. Hugs. June

Re: If Heaven Had a Phone (User Rating: 1 )
by Remy on Thursday, 15th April 2004 @ 03:57:18 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

this pulls at the hearstrings, sad but strong... i like it... ;0)
~Remy~

Re: If Heaven Had a Phone (User Rating: 1 )
by n2dep2care on Thursday, 15th April 2004 @ 04:30:51 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This touched my heart! Very good write.

Re: If Heaven Had a Phone (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on Sunday, 18th April 2004 @ 09:22:46 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Welcome to YPDC...the poetry site where people care...
This is so very sad and touching...It is a lovely poem....I can feel the emotions flowing deeply through you as I read this...
I hope you are doing better....
Hugs
Jenni

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