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Array ( [sid] => 49276 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Eating Away At My Soul [time] => 2004-05-26 23:12:37 [hometext] => about eating disorders, my friend had one, i actually dont, this is not a complete poem. [bodytext] => every mornings just the same
i wake up angry with no one to blame.
the lonely scale determines my mood
my empty stomache dieing with out food.
the mirror stands before me.
reflecting the me i hate
and still i stand and wait
for my body to meet its fate.
i watch with my breath a bait
my body met its fate.
and so suddenly
its the tragic end of me. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 145 [topic] => 39 [informant] => bttrflynajar [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Grief )

Eating Away At My Soul

Contributed by bttrflynajar on Wednesday, 26th May 2004 @ 11:12:37 PM in AEST
Topic: Grief

every mornings just the same
i wake up angry with no one to blame.
the lonely scale determines my mood
my empty stomache dieing with out food.
the mirror stands before me.
reflecting the me i hate
and still i stand and wait
for my body to meet its fate.
i watch with my breath a bait
my body met its fate.
and so suddenly
its the tragic end of me.

Copyright © bttrflynajar ... [ 2004-05-26 23:12:37]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Eating Away At My Soul (User Rating: 1 )
by Vermillion on Thursday, 27th May 2004 @ 06:03:56 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i really enjoyed this poem, please let me know when you completely finish it
~vermillion~

Re: Eating Away At My Soul (User Rating: 1 )
by Trisha on Thursday, 27th May 2004 @ 09:59:16 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I really like this poem. Can you let me know when you finish this poem. You're doing good
so far I think.

Re: Eating Away At My Soul (User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 12:06:59 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

A Nice write but it should have a end of some sort .
Ya kinda left us hanging.. Perhap if I might suggest....a little shuffle of lines.
Like:

every morning....i wake....the lonely...my mood
empty stomache dieing with out food."

"
i watch with my breath a bait
my body met its fate..
As the mirror stands before me.
reflecting the me i hate.
and still I stand and wait.".....
And so suddenly
its the tragic end of me."

or something like that. Hope it helps.
Whisper

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